Getaway to home

“I need to get away!”

That’s my major thought one day when I woke up from a deep sleep. How could I not take a single vacation leave for a year? I wondered.

This comes after my stupid travel ban rule in the hopes of recovering financially.

However, the signs of burnout are showing – exhaustion, lethargy, and boredom.

I feel as though I am working for nothing. I could not possibly go on working because I know what I can do if I reach a certain limit.

I initially planned to travel to somewhere beautiful early this year. I made the plans, map out the places to go, and even go as far as booking my hotels. BUT… I changed my mind and opted to fly home instead. Going home is a long ride and a very expensive one at that. I am so used to coming home on a 3–4-hour flight but Canada is just so far. I was mentally preparing myself.

I have three weeks of vacation. I decided to take one week off to take my parents on a trip, much to their surprise. I made the plans myself and decided to tell them when everything was all set. I know they wanted South Korea but, in my mind, we have been there. I even stayed there for an extra week and went to the places I wanted to go in 2019. And even if it’s four years ago, I still remember it freshly because it was just before the pandemic, before the world froze, and before multiple travel bans were in place. I decided to go where I have not been into. I chose Taiwan.

I was supposed to do itineraries but so much happened before my flight home. I had to settle everything and when I did, I was too beat to plan Taiwan in detail. A day before the Taiwan trip, I had to mad dash to the PAL office by the airport to settle their sudden change of flight and the long layover that comes with it. I was referred to the manager and we had a good talk. It ended with him giving me his number for any issue that may arise later.

I had no time to sit and plan the itinerary. I went with winging it day by day. The “no-plan” plan.

While embarking on the plane, I was surprised to be seated on the preferred seats. Still thinking about what to do in Taiwan, my sister sent me screenshots of a vlogger’s itinerary. (I am not one to watch vlogs in my free time) so, sending me bits and pieces of those places, well, it helped a lot. I just had to choose from those places.

I took my parents to street food, malls, residential areas, castles, and parks. On our third day, we rented a private car which took us outside Taipei. We all enjoyed nature, the new scenery, and the photographs that we took. It was a very chill trip. I wanted them to feel relaxed and refreshed even if it means taking it slower than usual. Taiwan was a perfect choice to do the modern and the nature in one trip.

When I arrived back in the Philippines, I had two weeks and all of which are severe sunny days. Heat is my kryptonite, so I met friends for dinners. I had a grand time spending with the family, and it was what I really needed. I have switched dreamy places for home, but home is always the best place on Earth so no regrets there.

While there, I thought of three things: First, life is too short. Spend it wisely with people who choose you. Second, I must have money. Money is not everything, but it makes things possible. Lastly, I can’t go on without breaks. Period.

To each his own. Others may like cool kicks (I do too), some may like collecting expensive bags, and some find happiness in redecorating their houses or whatever but there are others whose happiness lies in travels. All are valid, everything is good. You do you and that’s essential. I needed a getaway, and I’m glad I did. 

Reluctance

Funny how I used to care about so many people before.

I’d like to be on the loop, to be in the know. But now as a levelheaded 30-ish, I come into terms about what I can control and what I cannot.

I care less about other people’s opinions because I was never one to do things based on other people’s feelings. I care less about a person’s story because it is not my personal experience. You may say I am uninterested. Yes, I am deeply uninterested about other people’s affairs unless they want me to be a part of it.

I admit it gets scary sometimes because I feel like I am closing off.

I don’t like forcing things or undefined anything. I don’t like undefined relationships, undefined preferences, or undefined intentions, among others. If you like me, sure! That’s great, we could be friends. If you don’t, that’s okay, too.

I’d like to think that the more I stay in the moment, the more focused I am to achieve meaningful experiences. I have always thought of life as a fleeting gift that needs to be savored while on it. I don’t like having a celebratory moment and yet feeling anxious about the looming sadness that comes after. I want to BE in that moment and worry about what comes after when I am ON it.

So, with people if I am your friend, I am your friend till the end. Unless you chose not to be. Shots won’t be fired on my end. You did it.

With realizing that there are things I cannot control, I let go.

I don’t dwell on reluctant people. I choose those who are sure about choosing me.