The "Just" to Happiness

Today’s Morning Question: “What Are You Grateful For?”

Every meeting I join starts with a curveball - some unexpected, often thought-provoking question. Today’s was: “What are you grateful for this morning?”

One by one, we took turns. Someone shared, “I’m grateful for my partner and my dog - for their love, support, and the happiness they bring me.”

I nodded instinctively and thought, “Of course!” But then, my mind (being its usual overthinking self) wandered off into deeper waters.

What does it take to be happy?

That question took me back to something I read online. A dad said he didn’t want to teach his kid to pursue happiness because - get this - it might ruin him. Naturally, my first reaction was: What the heck? Why?!

Then I read further.

He wasn’t against happiness itself. He just didn’t want his child to become obsessed with the idea that life is supposed to be happy all the time. Because it’s not. And believing that it is? That can be dangerous.

And honestly, that hit differently. Because the younger me would have scoffed. The younger me believed happiness was everything. Why bother with life if you’re not chasing that buzz, that spark, that constant sunshine?

But the current me (the one who’s been through a few storms, detours, and existential spirals) knows better. Or at least, knows more.

Happiness, I’ve come to realize, isn’t a neon sign at the end of the road. It’s more like soft glimmers along the way. It’s not a fixed state, not a trophy. It’s fluid, messy, fleeting, beautiful. And wildly personal.

To some, happiness is a big, booming crescendo - the proposal, the promotion, the dream vacation. To others, it’s simply being able to breathe through the day. For many, it’s being surrounded by people who see you, accept you, and love you anyway.

And every version is valid.

But for me? I’ve stopped chasing happiness like it’s a destination. Instead, I try to notice it - where I am. Sometimes, happiness looks like a slow morning. Other times, it’s laughing too hard at a dumb meme. Or having a conversation that’s real and raw and doesn’t require me to perform.

Because honestly? I don't want to chase happiness like it’s something out there. I want to live my emotions as they come. If I’m sad, let me be sad. If I’m hurt, let me feel it. I don’t want to slap on a smile to meet some unrealistic standard of being “okay all the time.”

The worst kind of pretending is pretending you’re happy when you’re anything but.

We often think happiness comes with conditions:

I’ll be happy if I get that job.
I’ll be happy when I find “the one.”
I’ll be happy once I figure it all out.

But what if we flipped the script?

What if happiness didn’t need a reason?

What if it sounded like:

“I’m happy just because.”
“I’m happy right here.”
“I’m happy in the middle of figuring it out.”

Now that feels real.

So today, when I was asked what I’m grateful for... I think the deeper answer is this: I’m grateful for the awareness that I don’t need to chase happiness. I just need to be.

quick update

Hi!

It's been more than eight months since my last post. It could mean positive things, right?

I realized, over the last few years, I only update mostly when I am sad and lonely so not updating would mean that I have been having a good time. 

I am not writing now because I am feeling particularly down. In fact, it’s the opposite. 

I have been super busy juggling between work, school, errands and minutest social life, if any. 

I have vowed to be busy and I am! So I couldn’t really complain. 

Quick update, I have lost a few pounds and gained some more, started my no soda vow (I don’t know just how long I can keep it), read medical research about food intake in my free time (for example, is yakult etc good as an everyday drink?), I started applying keratin on my super dry hair in the hopes of revitalization,  what else?

Oh vaccinated! It is important to put things in good order. I like to follow my priorities. I stay home most days because I am too much of a COVID conscious. I don’t want to risk getting COVID and infecting the vulnerable members of my family (Seniors and nephews). 

On things that I haven’t achieved yet? Well, I still want to start painting but I find it expensive haha. I still want to take web design courses. I still want to try long distance driving. There’s a lot more that I want to try but most especially, God willing, to fall in love.

Before this gets soapy, to anyone reading this…

Life may not always be how we wanted. Sometimes, we think so hard in selecting choices and ending up not getting what we deserve. Sometimes, we give our all and get nothing back. Sometimes, we bring in our A-game and still end up losing. But HOPE. We need to hope that someday, somewhere, the lines will align and what we deserve, what we hope, what we envision, will come to us. No question.