Podcaster era

 So I started a podcast. It’s an attempt to empty my mind of thoughts that consume most of my day.

Before this, I had no experience speaking into a microphone with a modulated voice. I always felt my voice sounded too crisp for public speaking, let alone for recording. Still, I wanted to try something new and have a platform to share my thoughts, so I gave it a go.

I love listening to podcasts. I get inspiration from the words and statements I hear. When Mel Robbins says, “Let them then, let me,” I pondered on it earnestly.

Mel Robbins said there are two steps: First, let them. Let people have opinions about you, never clap, exclude, or ignore you. Let them because that’s who they are.

Then the most important and probably the hardest step is to let me. Let me take the power to control my thoughts. Let me choose peace. Let me accept. Let me let go.

Hearing this, I had a renewed sense of vitality. It gave me the power to own my story.

Initially, I had planned to release an episode weekly. I might be too ambitious because with a full-time job, a desperate attempt for a fitness routine, and a sure slot for my favourite kdramas, I have no space and time to do recordings, not to mention laborious edits.

“When’s the next episode?” a friend curiously asked.

“Wait, what? You listened?” I said, shockingly.

“Of course, it’s not just you who’s in the same boat with this process of becoming!”, he replied.

Apparently, we’re on this train together. The train keeps moving, it’s going through loops and turns. It’s showing the sunny terrains outside its windows, and then all of a sudden, a pitch black tunnel. We’re anticipating the light at the end. We feel something we couldn’t even name. We’re carrying ourselves to an abyss only we can hope and pray for.

I started this podcast as a way to face my thoughts alongside my truths. While my stand could change anytime, I feel that living in the moment means having the capacity to take things as they are.

“Do I sound like a life coach?” I asked.

“No, you sound so real and confused”, another friend notes.

I don’t know if I can keep this podcast thing up. I’m not in it for the analytics but for the meaning it may contribute.

Just like letting them and letting me, the podcast is a reminder that while we sometimes think that we’re alone in the madness that our lives bring, somehow, somewhere, there’s also one soul who completely gets us.

At this point, that’s more than enough. As my podcast closing line says, stay soft, stay curious, and don’t let anyone rush your becoming.

We’re in this together.

quick update

Hi!

It's been more than eight months since my last post. It could mean positive things, right?

I realized, over the last few years, I only update mostly when I am sad and lonely so not updating would mean that I have been having a good time. 

I am not writing now because I am feeling particularly down. In fact, it’s the opposite. 

I have been super busy juggling between work, school, errands and minutest social life, if any. 

I have vowed to be busy and I am! So I couldn’t really complain. 

Quick update, I have lost a few pounds and gained some more, started my no soda vow (I don’t know just how long I can keep it), read medical research about food intake in my free time (for example, is yakult etc good as an everyday drink?), I started applying keratin on my super dry hair in the hopes of revitalization,  what else?

Oh vaccinated! It is important to put things in good order. I like to follow my priorities. I stay home most days because I am too much of a COVID conscious. I don’t want to risk getting COVID and infecting the vulnerable members of my family (Seniors and nephews). 

On things that I haven’t achieved yet? Well, I still want to start painting but I find it expensive haha. I still want to take web design courses. I still want to try long distance driving. There’s a lot more that I want to try but most especially, God willing, to fall in love.

Before this gets soapy, to anyone reading this…

Life may not always be how we wanted. Sometimes, we think so hard in selecting choices and ending up not getting what we deserve. Sometimes, we give our all and get nothing back. Sometimes, we bring in our A-game and still end up losing. But HOPE. We need to hope that someday, somewhere, the lines will align and what we deserve, what we hope, what we envision, will come to us. No question.