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Showing posts from March, 2011

ironic

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Time is of the essence! I barely have months before I fly and make the most out of the opportunity. Truth us, the thought kills me. I mean, no matter how hard I prepare myself for the inevitable, I still don't know if I could pull it through. Given that I am convinced about the idea, still I am not satisfied. I am waiting for something more. I am waiting for that one specific day, the heavens shall open and as if on cue, a big echoing voice would tell me straightly, "Go!". You see, I've been thinking quite thoroughly. I've scanned every possible idea and wrote most of it. But what now? Where? What to do? I've been trying to inject some confidence in my system but I think the dosage just fell short. God help me. This is by far, my biggest decision. Like for me, next to the biggest decision of every girl, this decision that I am making is a matter of life and death. I don't have any assurance I know, but isn't it that everything in this world does not gu

mixed emotions

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Masisisi ko ba ang aking sarili sa kalituhang aking nadarama? Sa tagal ng panahon, sanay na sanay na akong mapag-isa. Sanay ako na ang pangunahing isinasaalang alang ay ang aking sariling opinyon at opinyon ng mga taong mahalaga sa akin. Kasalanan ko bang masanay sa takbo ng aking buhay na umiikot lamang sa sarili? Siguro nga totoo na may mga pader akong nilikha, pinagtibay at ginawang pundasyon para sa aking kapakanan. At sa tuwing may isang taong darating at sumusubok na gibain ito upang ako'y mahalubilo, kasalanan ko ba kung nahihiwagaan ako sa damdamin ko? Malamang hindi ako dapat sisihin. Ang panahon ang gumawa ng paraan. Ang aking kailangan ay hindi ang paninisi kundi ang suporta at higit na pinagtibay na aksyon. Alam kong madami nga akong dahilan, pero ano ang gagawin ko? Sa tuwing naiisip ko, mas marami pang nalilikhang tensyon ang aking kaisipan. Gaano man katibay ang pader, guguho at guguho ito sa tamang pwersa at tamang panahon.