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Showing posts from September, 2017

florence

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Ever been to a place where you thought, you are too blessed to be there? I have and it’s already countless of times. But one place struck me the most, because in there, I saw a vision of my not-so-distant future. In there I saw a vision that makes me happy the most and just thinking about it brings me to a new high, a sweet one. In there I saw a vision of satisfaction and only Florence can give me that. Believe me, I fell in love with the place the moment I arrived. If you are into various forms of arts, it might just be the best place for you. I love the arts and I enjoyed a handful of museums across the city. I enjoyed walking Ponte Vecchio and marveled at Statue of David while listening to some acoustic busking in a corner. I love the mix of tranquility as I gaze towards the horizon and the sun sets painting the sky in perfect hues. I love that I was there doing something favorable to my soul. It dawned upon me, I wish I’d have a kid who excel in the arts and I’d

doormat

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Do not be a doormat! …says my sister as I confide that I seem to have a habit of just taking in everything even if I don’t want to. As I go through life, I discovered that the foundation of self is a key factor to happiness. I have gone through multiple episodes of extreme loneliness. I’ve closed myself up trying to open up ‘cause who cares about my drama anyway? Plus I feel that sharing my personal problems sounds so lame. There were times that I vent out as I lose my control over my emotions (perhaps ‘cause it was too much?) and even though the people around me were supportive, it was hard to accept that they completely understood how I’m feeling. I often wonder whether it’s just me or maybe, somewhere out there, I’ve got a friend who’s feeling like in the same sh*thole as I do. And yeah, I have… recently, a friend called me up asking if I was available to talk. I said yes. I learned later on about her dilemma in her marriage. The line that struck me, “ Love does n

the truth

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I’m such sadist. There’s no bigger enemy than myself to myself. Sometimes, I think about why I am enduring something even if I can just pack my bags and go, it’s not like I have a kid to feed, right? So why do I endure? I endure because I want to do more. I endure because I want to be in several places more. I endure because I need the money. I endure because I somehow enjoy the thrill. I endure because I don’t want to be bored. Few of the things that I can easily come up with. But does it have to be this… I endure only to let life escape me? While this is a back and forth process or like a noisy record on repeat, and honestly, I’ve been really tired of this… but really, I’m subjecting myself to more STRESS and it doesn’t look good on me. My health has been on a different high, bad high, that is. My looks, well, now I believe beauty fades. My weight,well, it is clear, it is inversely proportional with my bank account. If I stay few years more… wha

what i learned from my tyrant boss?

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1)   D o not be pushy.  If you want things to be done as soon as possible, leave your staff alone. Otherwise, the person will feel so pressured and tends to just be lazy as a form of rebellion.   No one wants to be dictated, that’s why we value freedom and humanity even died for it. 2)   Prioritizing is the key .  If you want many things to be done, try doing your staff’s job for a day and see if you, yourself can cope. What needs to be done, needs to be done at a pace . Nothing is too urgent to not wait.  3) You cannot work with your mouth . The best way to get things done is through your example. If you keep on nagging, no one’s motivated to do it for you. Highlighting mistakes is good to keep the staff informed but doing it repeatedly decreases your staff’s morale. You are the boss for a reason, you can’t possibly be the one to be in panic first. 4) Be an example , a good one. When you advise you staff about his/her habits, examine yourself first. Am I doing better? Yo

on knowing one's self

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I think it is important to know yourself. Friend: but don’t you know yourself at 30? The question obviously struck me. How can I possibly answer this question without confusing the other? I guess it falls down to our different horoscopes? Ever since, I struggled to maintain the sense of self. I remembered one friend from way back in college when her boyfriend scolded her on the phone so loud that I can hear it. I asked her, does this happen often? She said, whenever he’s angry. My god! I sighed to myself. I am stubborn and hard-headed with an ego to match. I am pissed whenever someone say something rude to me. I try to hold it in, though the Aries in me is about to morph into a vicious ram and ram that someone to give him/ her some sense. And I always win, win against doing so. I keep it cool, always have. Then it brought me to think deeply, I am living my life in a way that is authentic? Whenever I am angry, I try not to. I suppress it. Whenever I feel lonely, I make

self talking

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Sept 5, 2017 I wrote for the first time in a long time because I feel so UNCOOL blurting it out on friends. Honestly, I’ve been talking to friends lately about how I really feel and while it’s good, the downside can be appearing a bit more vulnerable. And I hate being vulnerable. I have been thinking about quitting my job and just going along… But at the same time, I fear being unemployed. You know sometimes, this life is super ironic. You need to hear the noise to appreciate silence, be in a crowd of chaos to feel peace alone. Lose yourself to find it back again. And the latter is what appeals to me. And while I spend so many hapless moments thinking about what will become of me, if I got no stable income, no job to be busied about, jumping into unknown… I found one truth that comforts me. It is the truth that no matter what I give up on life, I will always, always have something better in return. For example… When I was in high school, I gave up being a CAT officer bec