prexypinoy to the world

You are a mighty black warrior. You have this incredible power to strike me at my weakest. You are an evil knight who comes in the light of distress darkening the world around me. You are a piece of junk striving to break through all the possible angles. Goodness! How can I not know the likes of you from the very first time I laid my eyes on you? How can I not see how rotten you are amidst the gorgeous face or the luscious lips? Fine. I am the one to blame. I am but a lonely princess. I have limited experiences to base my judgment to. I am but a lousy little worm trying to come out as a beautiful butterfly. Have I not achieved that stage yet? Why do I feel cuffed to the past? Why do I feel so chained with the thoughts of you? I have been to hell and back the first time I heard about it. And been to more hell each time I think about it. But man, Why can’t just get over you? ….

Ikaw… Ikaw ang isa sa aking mga pangarap. Ikaw ang isa sa laman ng aking mga panaginip. I’ve known and heard from you from so many sources. My friends do talk loudly about you and how amazing you really were. Down with your major points: You are such a gentleman who offers more than one expects. You are an active participant where life emanates from. You are the life of the party. You are one of the joys from knowing something new. You are unique and RAW. The time has come that I have known you personally. I’d say my experience with you was one of the most memorable moments of my life. I liked the things I see in you. I liked how transported I felt from one place to another. I like you, need I say more? To you outer core: You are oozing with SEX appeal. You are so HOT. One that is raging with HORMONES, one look and I’d know you’re WILD. A tempter in his own right. What do I love about you? I love that I get to be adventurous when I am with you. I love that I

So I was lobbying facebook and got bored. I was tempted to open up my archives and yes, I found our conversations in an instant. I tried to read back and saw how it never worked out. You and I. You and I… we both are too much to handle. You and I … we both don’t have the focus on things and each time, I end up with a “haha” for lack of better thing to say. You and I… we’re sporting a player look, noncommittal and seemingly interested for the present. Not long term. I groan at a thought. At one point, I was like a drag queen. What was I thinking? Telling you to talk to me once you’re off the hook?! Seriously?! Gosh! I feel as though my toes do sank up to my neck, my pride slowly going with it. Goodness! But between the horrendous lows and terrible lies, I am proud that I was able to steer away from going lower. I beamed up the chance to shine no matter how hurtful it all went. I veered towards achieving self-gratification more than what you can offer. Now, I’m back on my

So here I am sitting at the office, wondering why the sudden rush of emotions came over me. Last night was wine night and some major chika with friends; I woke up late for work today. Boo! Conversations with friends in the wee hours of the morning with a familiar tingling of wine in one’s throat just provoke a deeper sense of reason. That moment when you talk low in a dark night and just let the rush of emotions come by is something wonderful. RAW. If there’s one thing that I intentionally changed about being me is that fact that I now synthesize what I say. Sometimes a reaction is just a reaction for the sake of reacting because you had to edit out very strong feelings involved in it. Just to join the bunch. There are certainly moments that I feel as though I am not being true to myself, by keeping my thoughts rather than saying it. I do have different ideas than the rest, and if I could just react to something the way I wanted it, it would be as true as I am. Sadly,

Responsibilities. Big word. It’s quite scary. Yeah I know we all go through that, at some point in our lives, we do need to assume roles because it is what growing up is all about. But sometimes, these thoughts about roles do scare me. Big time. My sister’s father-in-law just had an Angioplasty operation done. It is a medical procedure referring to the unblocking of the veins of the heart (not quite sure medically). That certain operation is offered only in Manila and thus, my brother-in-law flew into Manila to support his father. So then, I asked my sister “how much does it cost for this operation?” My sister replied, “perhaps 800K to a million plus”. My goodness! Certainly, health is everyone’s wealth. I just can’t imagine… My stubborn mind has gone to the Alps and back. Again. I hate to think about it and have stopped myself from doing so but… I don’t think I could afford an operation like that. Mentally computing, my brother-in-law has got three more sibli

Roll out the red carpet to CHANGI airport, I am gonna have a trip soonest! Where is a break when you need one? No where. We have to make time for it. Do an effort to schedule a leave no matter what. BY HOOK OR BY CROOK. The best thing about being able to travel is the ability to break the routine. Sometimes, things can really get to your nerves and you’d look in a mirror and see your reflection, you ask yourself, AM I STILL 26? My career life is so stressful I can die of it in midday. Lunch time is a huge factor for me to breathe; otherwise, I’d go nuts in no time. Yeah, I have a very demanding job that I do love and hate in the same intensity. I always need a break. It is THAT important to me. I’ve said this before, my greatest joy in life is to see my parents travel along with me. It gives me the satisfaction that they are enjoying their lives after all the hurdles in the past.  If I were 100x richer, I know it would be easy, but do I have time then? Sadly, for t

Getting old! I wonder why there are terrible moments that I wake up and feel obnoxiously down. That feeling that never goes away no matter how hard I shake myself up. It’s creeping right through me and eating me alive. I feel a certain sense of melancholy. I used to love melancholic strolls in the mall to think and reflect about major details of my future decisions. I used to enjoy being alone and getting my thoughts straight so when I come home, I know I’ve already made a concrete decision. But lately, melancholy doesn’t appeal me anymore. I feel bored and sad. I feel empty and down. Hormones, they say, can make a sweet, angelic woman to a tiger in distress. But seriously, I do get distressed every time. I feel as though I am wasting a time of my life wherein I could be with any body. I feel as though I will regret not giving in to some new things that I fear I would not conquer. Ever. There are episodes when I feel lying the whole day. But In the end, I’d die of bo

While I know for sure that money cannot buy me love, it’s amazing to know how blessing comes in different packages. Growing up, my eyes were opened to realities. My father is one hard-working man who seems to have the diskarte to fulfill the ends’ meet, why, it was him, who is solely our bread and butter while Mama stays at home full time to watch and guide us. At home, we were trained to do chores (yun nga lang, I suck at it). My parents instilled in us the value of education more than anything else. I remembered one time… our neighbour asked my mom why she wants her kids to be enrolled in a private school when in the future, same lang daw lahat yan basta grumaduate. My mom would smile and say, I think my children deserve the best of what we can offer. And yes, I was so young then but when I heard that, I promised myself not to let my mother be down. My dad is the breadwinner. My mom is the breadkeeper. She would do all the budgeting right after receiving the amount in f