prexypinoy to the world

Terrorist. Sometimes talaga may mga taong kung mangterrorize sa iba, akala nila sila lang ang magaling. Minsan, sobrang nakaka sad lang kasi yung taong tineterrorize nila, hindi nalang umiimik para walalng gulo, walang problema. To maintain the harmony sa loob ng opisina. I've been working my ass right after college graduation. Siguro, swerte lang talaga ako sa mga boss ko noon. Or maybe, kasi willing naman talaga akong matuto sa mga ins and outs of the business. Or maybe mas compassionate lang talaga sila compared sa kung ano at sino ang meron ako ngayon. I am not saying naman na sobrang terorista ng mga colleagues ko now, but siguro nasanay lang akong di pinapakialaman sa mga tasks ko sa opisina. I work with minimum supervision. I work with autonomy. Ayaw ko yung may nakabantay sa likod ko habang ginagawa ko ang tungkulin ko, Una kasi, nakakaconscious, Pangalawa, if you believe in my potential you should know that I get things done as fast and accurate as possible.

Gone There goes the circle of life, someone has gone home. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this. I don’t think I’ll ever learn how to take goodbyes smoothly. Told you, I’m so bad at being left. It scares and pains me big time. Anxiety Attack. I remembered, when in kindergarten, every time Mama sends me off to school, she’ll go with me up to my classroom. And every time I sat down, I didn’t want here to leave me. I am busy looking for her and every time I don’t see her, I go out of the classroom and yells out her name, if I found out, she already went home, I always end up crying my heart out. I was that kid. That kid who got the loudest cry. That kid with Mama staying at school. When I think about it now, it was a rather funny. It’s as if I am being left to a desert with no one to be with. And looking at me now, I think I have come a long, long way from that same kid. But I thought wrong. I have just grown up, years of experience taught me how to fight, how to survive, how to remai

Leonidas. Siya ay isang Spartan King na sobrang bongga ang ability to duel. Yung fighting skills nya, ibang level. Nakakabilib kasi since bata, yun talaga yung pinaghuhusay nila, Military Skills. I got hooked during the holidays, napanood ko sa History Channel yung about sa mga Spartans. Di ko na sight yung Movie na 300, kasi nga ayoko yung sobrang bloody na movie. Parang nakakadepress lang kasi the more ko naiisip na ang mga tao ay foolish, nagpapatayan para sa wala. So yun nga, since wala naming work for three days, nascan ko sa tv yung about kay Leonidas at sa mga Spartans in general. The Spartan elders play a key role to the society, kasi di lang sila yung parang congress na nagsesession to make a law, sila din yung may say if ang isang new born baby boy ay “fit” sa kanilang society. Like if ever man na yung anak mo ay may disability, tinatapon nila sa parang basurahan and is left to die. Kasi yung baby, does not belong to his parents, or not fit to live para sa sarili but for the

You already. I was watching Kris TV last night, at fineature yung bahay ni Kim Chiu. Grabe. Sobrang ganda, malawak at bongga. Naman! Naisip ko 21 lang si Kim Chiu, yung iba buong retirement fee na for 25 to 45 years na nga, di talaga maafford yung ganun. Ang iba nga kahit isang bag dun na nakadisplay di pa rin umaabot equivalent to a retirement. Kaloka. Sometimes, nakakainggit lang. At a young age, may ganun na property na. Bakit nga ba di ko nalang pinursue yung pag aartista? Kahit ba bold, papatulan ko na (kung mangangarap lang naman). Pero di nga, sobra sobra kasi yung pera pag ganun, ang laki ng bahay, ang laki ng maintenance. Which brings me sa topic na napag usapan naming kagabi ng housemate ko. What I liked about the house is the high celing plus yung stairs na kahoy na small steps lang na di nakakapagod umakyat. Yung iba dun, gaano man kaganda, di ko na type. Financial-wise, ang hirap imaintain ng malaking bahay. Kuryente pa lang nun monthly, work hardest talaga kasi di biro yu

Attached. My greatest challenge in this whole journey is to be complete as it is. To have a sense of security from within. To be self- sufficient. To be independent. Very strong words that involve a lot of SELF. Na realize kong In order to conquer this quest. I must develop a sense of confidence na kaya ko kahit ako lang mag isa. Ang nangyayari kasi, I get to be attached with someone na parang na depend na sa kanya yung happiness ko. Mali yun. Maling gameplan pag ganito yung lifestyle. When living and working abroad, dapat talaga yung SELF buo as it is. Yung secure sya na kahit anung mangyari, every single cell in the body is well. Every detail ng personality intact. Every minute part of the mind and heart andun. Di pwedeng nakasalalay sa iba. Di pwedeng maging maligaya kasi may kasama. Dapat kahit nag-iisa, Masaya. Narealize kong when you get so close with someone tapos always kayong magkasama, it builds a certain pact na di din madaling kalimutan, masasanay ka sa presence nya and mos

As much as I miss home and going home seems to be a very tempting and fulfilling idea… I cannot. For some reasons, I find it very SOON. Very bitin. Besides, nafeel ko na I should grab this chance to know myself better. Ambilis ng panahon, I will soon be MIA at home for six months, that’s half a year, 182 and a half days. Parang sobrang radical at life changing ng mga nangyari sa life ko. To be honest, never kong naimagine na ganito pala kabigat yung decision na ginawa ko. Along with my career change is my change of address and everything followed, my lifestyle, my routine. Lahat. Even myself, I feel na na change ako. Kung dati parang passive lang, now I feel I am more expressive. I feel na mas naopen ako to reality. If there is something I wish for myself, yun yung ultimate confidence sana. Yung I can be more of myself, I can express my feelings, I get to be connected to other people and less insecurities. To care less about other people’s opinion and thoughts. Masyado lang sensitive t

Naiinis ako. Di sa nega ha. Ganito kasi yun, ang mga tao may sinasabi, sineshare tungkol sa buhay nila. Kung ano man yun, kung ikaw ay isa sa mga lucky winners na makarinig na kwentong ito, makinig ka na lang. If di mo trip, sabihan mo ako, or ilayo mo sa topic at nang mafeel kong di ka nga interested. Madali akong kausap. Ang ayaw ko lang kasi, is yung nag sishare ang ale tapos, buhos na buhos na ang emosyon, deep and insightful na yung sinasabi tungkol sa self nya, (tumutol ka kung gusto mo pero) wag mo namang ipamukha sa kanya na magkaiba talaga kayo. Na mali sya at ikaw ay tama. Hala! ikaw nalang kaya ang mag share? at ako'y makikinig nalang. For example, If magsasabi sya na ganito yung na feel nya, let her be. Let her feel that way. If ikaw ang tagapakinig, wala kang karapatan na husgahan sya sa nafi feel nya. Better yet, shut up. Kung di mo trip at tutol na tutol ka, pwede mo namang sabihing “talaga?” “ahh” Di importanteng tumutol ka kasi after all, yung nafi feel nya, person

Feel na feel ko na. Sana naman next year meron na. Di naman sa ayoko na, nakakatakot lang kasi. Hanggang kelan? Wala nato sa plano. Ako’y lost in wilderness. I don’t know kung ano ang dala ni Haring Bukas pero sana naman magandang balita na. Di sa desperado. Di din sa sabik na sabik. Pero naman, di din naman pwedeng wala talaga. Parang regalo lang yan e. Kahit di ka mag expect, alam mong meron talaga kahit singkong duling. Or di kaya libreng candy sa street habang ika’y naglalakad, di man made especially sayo yung candy at least meron kang natanggap. Wag nang choosy. Ganito ang dilemma pag yun nalang ang kulang. Di na ako nagtataka kung bakit masungit si Miss Tapia. Di na din ako nagtataka kung bakit busangot ang kanyang mukha. Nagbi bitter bitteran. Bakit nga naman hindi? Eh kahit papano may itsura si Miss Tapia. Yung iba nga meron, sya pa kaya. Minsan kasi nakakadepress isipin. Di naman sa zero ang mga kawal na umaaligid. Sadyang ang hirap lang talaga ng maintenance. Yung chuvah na k

Flirt some. Sabi ni Bro. Bo, tayong mga kababaihang single, kelangan daw talagang lumandi kahit papano. Kasi naman, ang mga lalake parang dolphins lang e, kelangan ng signal. Sabi nya send out the right signal. Di naman kelangang maghubad (seduction yan) or may pa labas labas pa ng dila (sexual connotation nato) habang kausap sya or from afar pag nagkahulihan ng tingin. Sapat na ang smile. Sabi pa nga ng isang tweet, walang walang magandang babae sa malanding tanini. Tumpak! Kasi naman noh, pag magaganda nilalagay din ang sarili sa pedestal, parang sinasabing, “habulin mo ko, habulin mo ko” at di lang basta basta dapat ang humabol. Mali. Mali daw yun. Dapat be open. Walang diskriminasyon. Sabi nga, talk to atleast 15 boys in a week. Not necessarily na landiin ng bongga, talk. Just converse. Kasi daw, dun mo malalaman kung ano ang gusto mo sa isang guy. The more ka daw mai expose sa guys, the more mo daw malalaman kung sino ang patok sayo at sino ang hindi. Wow parang manok lang naman

Somebody asked me, Ano ba talaga gusto mo sa isang guy? Hmnnn… Naghuhumiyaw ang aking puso, nakahandang bumulong ang aking bibig “Ikaw”… Pero syempre naman teh, maloloka ang mga tala, syempre may paisip isip pa akong nalalaman, sabi ko, “Guy as a friend or boyfriend?” sabi nya, “syempre yung lifetime partner” at sa pangalawang pagkakataon, muntik kong masabi, “ikaw nga” Ang lola mo kelangan din naming maglitanya de ti, may pa pause pause pa kunwari, at nasabi ko nalang, syempre yung faithful. Di naman sa naloko na ako or whatever pero first things first, I would like someone who’s loyal to me. Di yung makakita lang ng ibang mas maganda or mas sexy, wala, kakaripas agad ng takbo at parang asong susunod dun sa babae. Che! I’ve seen men who are like that. Kahit kasama yung gf, Makita lang ako, nakaturn agad ng head. Taray. Di nga, I know naman di yan sukatan ng faithfulness diba? Pero naman! Pwede ba, guys wag masyadong pahalata. Pangalawa kong sinabi, dependable. Lifetime partner diba? D

Gurl! Yan ang tawag ko sa kanya. Pa bagets lang, parang magkaedad lang. Minsan nakakainis ako pa yung mas matanda tingnan. How cruel can this life be? LOL So, planning to come here is a complete disapproval sa kanya. Kesyo, Why would I need this “being independent” for? That my life will be changed and I might get disappointed big time daw. She even told me she doesn’t like me when I am very disappointed kasi nawawala daw yung zest ko. She told me may maganda na akong trabaho and my future is bright kahit nasa Davao lang ako. Pero the usual me, Stubborn and ambitious, achievement- hungry, did not mind what she said. I told here, “it’s now or never” meron pa akong mga “to grow and make myself better na churvah”, my greatest argument was that I needed sometime to reflect on what I want in my life and having this chance, it’s really up for me to grab. Apparently, di lang naman ito yung arguments naming. Madami pa. If nasa bahay, para kaming tiglilimang armalite with amplifier instead of s

Eh kasi naman… Bata. Young. Kid. Child. I think I just found myself a new inspiration. Pag nakikita ko sya nawawala ang pagod, ang mga problema,, ang bigat, ang sakit, ang sama ng loob, ang sama ng tiyan at iba pang mga nega sa buhay ko. Picture pa lang, iba yung positivity na nararadiate. Just a smile. Totoo pala yung kanta ni Barbie Almalbis. Smile pa lang nakakabuhay. Parang may bagong umaga naghihintay na puno ng pag-asa at kagandahan. Para siyang sunshine after the rain, di lang rainbow kasi konti lang naman ang nakakaaninag ng rainbow from a far. Sunshine kasi wide yung coverage. Parang morning dew na mamasa masa pa sa mga bulaklak on a very cool weather. Parang jazz in a dim-lit room while sipping some wine. Parang bonus na kusang nacredit sa ATM mo kahit sa pagkakaalam mo’y wala naming bonus sa panig mo. Parang Christmas song sa mga malls. Parang Iphone4s na napanalunan mo sa raffle. Parang mana na kusang ibinigay sayo ng amo mong elderly at ikaw ung nagninurse. Alam mo yung ga

Christmas is already here. Four days? Wow. So fast. This Christmas is very memorable. This is my first Christmas away from home and with my heart left in Davao. Who would’ve thought that 2011 is this mixed and radical? I just had this all for the adventure, quite frankly, something that is quite temporary. You know, when the youth in you feels a lot more adventurous and almost rebellious. Not that I am deprived of freedom. It’s the nature of the early twenties I guess. I first thought about two months break after resigning from work… will have fun, try new things, enrol myself to new hobbies. Learn how to drive. And when I get tired, I’ll seek a job of my liking. Boom! After almost two months of this unknown adventure, I got myself a job and everything was life changing. I have to live self- sufficiently. I do things my way, I cook, I do the laundry, I clean, I think of my tomorrows, pre occupied with what to cook, when to do the laundry, stocks in the fridge, groceries. Seriously, I n