schadenfreude
Schadenfreude. N. pleasure derived by someone from another person's misfortune. Admit or not, we have a tiny little spot of hesitation to be happy about other’s success. Why, because we compare in parallel to our own success, our growth and progress through life. I admit I have been quite strange in the past months. I am emboldened by the desire to be first in everything. I wanted to be the best, to be above par. I want to be that girl whom I think is cool and ideal. She’s up there. Sadly, because of this desire, I have been to a dark hole where everywhere I looked seemed too stifling and empty. I have been trapped by my own set of borders, like a dumbass juggler adding more props to the already overboard performance. I realized that the more I crave for perfection, the more I become far from it. I thought it was fun at first but it was so dragging, the boredom crept in and I lost the idea of who I really was. I was swallowed by frustration and what made it