thoughts about staying

I want to be honest and say that coming home brings me joy but at the same time, it throws me into a pit of hopelessness.

I happen to stay at home the whole day and just surveyed my surroundings.
I just think that the place I am in is no longer the same place I once lived. Rather than getting good energy, I felt like I needed to get out of here.

It makes me desperate to change not only my life but our lives as a family.
It makes me want to do more and with that, I am encouraged to work harder than before.

If there’s any consolation, it brings me to a new perspective. It grounded me to see the reality. It made me want to try harder at life because I don’t want to remain the same.

Call me ambitious but there’s no other way but to move forward, stronger, braver and ultimately, smarter.


I came home because I wanted to see for myself how my family is doing. And needless to say, I am mixed emotions. I planned on staying for good but I don’t think this is the right time. Rather than staying for good, I’d like to take this chance to restore my mental health, get past my anxiety and throw my insomnia away. I want to attain my sense of balance so that, wherever I am in, I would survive because I have remained focused.

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