Life for Room 12

I just arrived from SPMC where my lola is currently admitted in for further observations from having a very high fever with chills. It was my first time visiting the hospital and I was surprised.


In the lobby, I found patients’ bed with dextrose hooked up. Walking along the hallway, reminded me so much about those indie movies with rustic scenes taken in a building with crowded hallways.  As I went further and looked for the room, I found small adjacent rooms labeled “for watchers”. Peeking, I saw a group of people lying inside, some sitting while chatting with others, sleeping bags and individual blankets lined up to the mouth of the doors. 

Room 12.

I entered the room and found my lola lying in. She's in good spirits whilst being sick. I asked for her hand for me to bless and asked if she's okay. She smiled and said, it's hot. I agreed. 

In that room were 5 beds. Next to my Lola is someone trying his best to breathe with an apparatus. The breathing sounds like a whistle, with the visible struggle of the ups and downs of the chest. Near the barricaded window was someone with an intubation, a monitor and colour coded tubes. Next to her, is an old lady with dextrose but definitely in better condition than her nearest neighbour. She smiled when she saw me, I smiled back. The bed opposite my lola was empty.

I was instructed by my mom to do some errands. I went down to do Philheath application on my Lola's behalf.

I went back shortly and found people outside the door. Puzzled I peeked, the one near the window finally said goodbye. She looked like someone who struggled to have her last breath, her neck is arched in a way as if to try and get some air. Her family, in tears surrounded her. They have previously decided not to resuscitate her and let her have a peaceful rest. Some family members waited outside and I quietly stood beside them. They shared their patient's illness and I found out it was the Big C. I said my condolences and kept quiet. 

Minutes later, the nurses rush in the same room. I grew curious why and later found out that the one next to my Lola also expired. Just a small window of interval. A race against time. I saw the same face, the struggle to breathe and yet, failing. In that span of time, I saw life as a fleeting gift.

In room 12, 2 lives are lost before my very eyes, within half a day. I later learnt the empty bed across my Lola also expired before I arrived.

As I pondered, I saw the cycle of life firsthand. I have heard the struggles of the families and witnessed the struggles of the patient fighting for their lives. In the end it boils down to us being mere mortals, and when we finally reach an end of that mortality contract, we’re left fully swaddled by just a piece of cloth, transported through a metal stretcher.

Photo by tvtropes.org

What we all become is just a piece of "was a living being".

In that moment, I found that life is a delicate balance and when we lose some aspect of how we normally function, we cease to exist.

 Witnessing these scenarios humbled me. I am nothing in the face of death and this idea alone made me appreciate my NOW. It made me yearn to live earnestly, so when time comes, I have no regrets of the life I lived.

Life is beautiful because it is fleeting. It makes me look forward to a more meaningful and purposeful"in-betweens". That is, the point from where I was born and the point before I die.