what's up, covid?

Hi!!!

I’ve been out of context these past few days and what better way to blow off some steam than to write it down. It’s funny that it is in these moments that I feel so vulnerably human.

2020 made it possible for people to pause, cancel plans and obviously, stay at home. Gone are busy commutes and invariably busy daily schedules.  Gone are our coffee chats, cafe hopping and dinner with friends.  With COVID, everything seemed to stop. Well, for the most of us who aren’t at the frontlines at least.

This pandemic brought innumerable effects: the lives lost, work termination and the devastating economic crisis looming in, may God forbid. So many things can happen and if we overthink, the negative impacts are far too scary to even ponder, the onset is almost tangible.

BUT… life is about HOPE. In a world of uncertainty, we look past the negativities and focus our time and energy on the “blessings in disguise”, “silver lining” and positivity, in general.

This sudden halt brought time for families to stay together. And when you stay together, you begin to notice the little details such as the aging skin of your parents, the receding hairline, and all other details you seem not to notice because on a daily basis, you were so busy catching your commute to work, even skipping breakfast not to be late. 

When you stay together, you share meals, you talk in dinners and discuss future plans. You begin to realise how aging make your parents look so old but so much wiser. You also cherish all the banters, gleeful boasts and jokes, even at your expense. You realise that with unpredictable future comes the responsibility to savour every moment you’re in it.

Staying at home, also allowed for proper communication to foster. You miss your people and you try to reach out, asking if they’re okay. You even miss people you don’t usually talk to because their presence symbolise normal. Normal is being around people you like and you aren’t fond of, right?

This pause also brought for some skills to be developed. I seem to improve my driving, being the family representative to groceries because my parents are both Senior Citizens and can’t go out. I also seem to improve my reading skills as I read books in some days, just to alleviate boredom. I have some friends who can expertly cook and bake now, whereas they’ve never cooked before the lockdown.

Truth be told, it also allowed me to have the time I need for myself. I watch series and movies that I missed out and when  I get impatient with these series, I switch to watching both baby and dog videos respectively. It never fails to put a smile on my face.

In moments where anxiety creeps in, I always find myself browsing at my old photos. The travels that I have made never fail to cheer me up. With this unexpected halt, it made me grateful for the chances that I took, the risks that I take and the decisions— good or bad, that I made. 

It made me see life in a different perspective. 

While money does not guarantee happiness, contentment did. 

I feel content knowing that I have lived my life the way that I wanted. In retrospect, I feel happy knowing that my life was well spent. It made me inspired to do more things once this pandemic is over.

It made me realise a lot of things. It made me want to fall in love. It made me want to live on the edge, because who knows what happens if I always play safe. It made me appreciate the quality of people that I surround myself with. It made me want to live honestly, sincerely, openly and by doing so, having to admit my feelings, taking the first move, even initiating what I meant to do, but never had the courage to.

While 2020, disabled most of us, it’s a matter of perspective. Spiritually, Emotionally and Mentally, it strengthened me. It enabled me to get past my boundaries and move forward with an earnest heart to work harder, be braver in my pursuits and be comfortable in the idea that what’s meant to be will always, always find its way. To rest my heart and mind in God’s intimate plan. <3