Of gratitude and its magnitude

“Thank you for…” I always advocate practicing gratitude. I appreciate being grateful and nostalgic about people, places, and situations that have occurred in my life, often beyond what I had imagined. But sometimes, reality demands to be felt. Things happen, and changes come on all fronts. And you’re left with no choice but to move forward. Whatever time to be had in adjusting, you’re in the front seat, taking it all in WHILE adjusting. The change in management with the job you finally love. The change in personalities of the people you thought would forever be in your life. The supposed-to-be-changed and dealt-with stuff, but a decade down the road, they were falling back into the same old habits. These are shifts you never asked for. These are shifts that require time, but because life happens, you’re in it while trying to live with it. Difficult. Exhausting, even. You think of the many possibilities. You consider plans from A-Z. You thought, “So this is how things would go from here…” And then, you try your hardest to keep up. To stay afloat. To navigate whatever you’re faced with. No matter how much of a planner you are, ready or not (and most often, NOT), you take it in. You try your hardest to make it. I heard from someone, “Why do Catholics or Christians thank God even if they were given problems?” I smiled. I was speechless. For a second there, I don’t have a solid explanation. I could go all nuclear with Theology, or dive deeper with Psychology, or run a mile with Philosophy, but how could I explain that going through trials and still thanking God requires a personal relationship with your Savior? Of course, I wouldn’t have a clear answer. It’s like defining an apple from an orange, and why do I love one more than the other? It is subjective. But what I know is this: Life is never easy. Whose is? But we continue. We hold our heads high. We look for tiny glimmers along the way. The short trips, the Pistachio-filled chocolate, the BTS music video, the KDrama kiss scene that seemingly goes for an hour, but is just a mere camera spin. Whatever. Mine may look so easy from a distance, it may even look glamorous and materially rich, but the inner turmoils, the stuff that lives in my head, are never easy to battle. But if I dwell on these hard truths, it’s more sinking than swimming. The more I permit myself to think about them, the more I am giving them the power to control me. Some realities are just too brutally honest. Too painful to even think about. "Mental space", I learned that term pretty recently. And the more I read about it, the more convinced I am that what we give a significant mental space for, the more invested we are in it. So, why give harsh realities more space when we can think more about the good things unfolding in our lives? That's where Gratitude takes its power. Thank you…

To a thousand reasons to be grateful for compared to the dozen demons harming my way to say a single thanks.