prexypinoy to the world

Truthfully enough, I wanna go home. The idea of seeing home just comforts me. The convenience of having your family around defines me. I've talked with a friend earlier this morning, had a very pleasant conversation regarding homesickness. I asked her if the feeling is really like this, you know, you feel so alone, you feel bored, you feel less energized. Sigh. I told her, after staying abroad for almost four months now, I feel really battered. I feel incomplete. I feel empty. I feel less of myself. She then told me, what was the purpose of being there? Isn't it for personal growth? Isn't it self-discovery? I said yes to all. She then told me, "well yotch, let's put it this way, it's very tempting to go home, I know" Then I interrupted,"very much! But why do my other friends feel less homesick like I do? Why do they laugh the hardest as if they're pretty much contented here?" She said "Well then, it just means your family is who you are....

Don't talk to strangers. Well, that's what my parents told me when I was growing up. And for some mighty reasons, I still hold that advice. I don't trust someone enough unless I know him/her. The problem is, minsan kasi I get to be so doubtful about someone's personality. My friend once told me, "You're so choosy" SSabi ko, "how come?" She said, "you choose who you like"... Teka, teka, di ba ganun naman talaga? I told her, I just don't let someone enter my life. Oo na, mali yun, mali na mamili pero yun nga e, when I was younger sabi ng parents ko, trust no one but yourself, family and God and choose your friends. Di kami mayaman, di din kami sikat, but that's about it eh. We choose people who become part of us. Di naman sinasadya, minsan talaga lumalabas na parang choosy, but isn't it because, mas madali talagang makipagkaibigan kung atleast may common point kayo? Isn't it more comforting kung alam mo at may background k...

Hanggang saan, hanggang kelan? I've said this before and I'm saying it now... Hindi madali ang mag abroad. Homesick ang matinding kalaban. Ilang buwan pa lang ako dito pero ha, sobrang homesick na ung nararamdaman ko, andun na yung feeling na sinisilihan na sa puwet at uwing-uwi na. lalo na ngayon, magpapasko. Naalala ko noon, akala ko talaga sobrang sarap lang ng buhay pag nasa labas kasi may naiipon, may package na maipapadala etc. Paano naman kasi, mejo nasanay akong makakita ng mga kapitbahay na nag abroad, ayun, they're the ones na may malaking bahay, may iilang sasakyan, may naipon sa bangko, in short, naging may kaya. Maibiblame ba ako, eh yun yung narinig ko kay Aling Tasing? Kesyo eto si juana, nagpadala ng ganito, ganyan. Ang sarap isipin diba? Natatak sa batang utak ko na ganun. Mahirap pala. Mahirap ang mawalay sa pamilya. Mahirap ang magtrabaho na hindi masyadong naiintindihan ang chika ng mga co-workers, may language barrier. Mahirap magbudget ng isang buwang ...