sick of home
Truthfully enough, I wanna go home.
The idea of seeing home just comforts me. The convenience of having your family around defines me.
I've talked with a friend earlier this morning, had a very pleasant conversation regarding homesickness. I asked her if the feeling is really like this, you know, you feel so alone, you feel bored, you feel less energized. Sigh. I told her, after staying abroad for almost four months now, I feel really battered. I feel incomplete. I feel empty. I feel less of myself.
She then told me, what was the purpose of being there? Isn't it for personal growth? Isn't it self-discovery? I said yes to all. She then told me, "well yotch, let's put it this way, it's very tempting to go home, I know" Then I interrupted,"very much! But why do my other friends feel less homesick like I do? Why do they laugh the hardest as if they're pretty much contented here?" She said "Well then, it just means your family is who you are. You have much tight ties with them, but hey, home is very appealing but overcoming this emotion that you are in, is way way more appealing"
There she had me. Then I thought, this is the same vicious cycle I once had almost seven years ago. Quite frankly, this is somewhat the same tunnel I felt years back, but this time, should I give up? Should I be trodden down by this stupid mind? The problem lies with me and not the situation, so the best solution is the change in me and not the change in situation.
If I can just endure, it will be a way way better life for me. If I can just hang on, it will be blissful. If I can just hold on tighter, I know it's promising. So self, mind especially, please stop overdoing things. It's good that you think but stop overthinking. It's not making my life easier.
Truthfully, the problem is my mindset of going home not the act itself. Because what my mind can conjure, my body can endure! Fight!
The idea of seeing home just comforts me. The convenience of having your family around defines me.
I've talked with a friend earlier this morning, had a very pleasant conversation regarding homesickness. I asked her if the feeling is really like this, you know, you feel so alone, you feel bored, you feel less energized. Sigh. I told her, after staying abroad for almost four months now, I feel really battered. I feel incomplete. I feel empty. I feel less of myself.
She then told me, what was the purpose of being there? Isn't it for personal growth? Isn't it self-discovery? I said yes to all. She then told me, "well yotch, let's put it this way, it's very tempting to go home, I know" Then I interrupted,"very much! But why do my other friends feel less homesick like I do? Why do they laugh the hardest as if they're pretty much contented here?" She said "Well then, it just means your family is who you are. You have much tight ties with them, but hey, home is very appealing but overcoming this emotion that you are in, is way way more appealing"
There she had me. Then I thought, this is the same vicious cycle I once had almost seven years ago. Quite frankly, this is somewhat the same tunnel I felt years back, but this time, should I give up? Should I be trodden down by this stupid mind? The problem lies with me and not the situation, so the best solution is the change in me and not the change in situation.
If I can just endure, it will be a way way better life for me. If I can just hang on, it will be blissful. If I can just hold on tighter, I know it's promising. So self, mind especially, please stop overdoing things. It's good that you think but stop overthinking. It's not making my life easier.
Truthfully, the problem is my mindset of going home not the act itself. Because what my mind can conjure, my body can endure! Fight!
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