Pensieve

Dear Draco Malfoy,

Whenever I think of you, I really hoped that you think of me too.

There were times when I still cannot believe that we are all growups now, like I still cannot believe that Harry and Ginny ended up together.

I wished I had Dumbledore’s pensieve and that I can see the memories as a third person.

Why?

Because I wanted to see how you reacted when I was dying of giddiness for you.

I wanted to see if it was just me or if it was indeed mutual. Loose ends.

I just don’t understand why you keep visiting me in my dreams when I became so strict with myself not to see you again.

It is commendable how I tried to forget you, cutting all the means of communication, turning deaf to

Every info I can possibly hear pertaining to you.

I mean, I don’t get it. Why can’t you just vanish?

Why do I have moments that I think of you. This is foolish. Unacceptable.

I wish to not see you again ever, in person and in my dreams.

Do me a favour, do not EVER cross my mind! T­_T

twenty seventeen

Last day of work for 2017 happens today!

Yay!!!

2017 has been blissful and worth remembering.

I opened it with a heart that was pained but gradually, the anger has been taken over by pure love of family.

2017 has enabled me to spend more time with people who matter.

I refused to be associated with “negaminds” and just focus with positivity.

I am grateful that I have been given a chance to enjoy Europe.

It has been a dream and kicking it off from the bucket feels so good.

I’d love to come back though :P

I am thankful to people who stood by me and stood up for me.

I am greatly indebted to the kindness that has been showered upon me and I look forward to paying it forward.

Although some dreams hasn’t been granted in 2017 yet, I still dream earnestly and pray harder that 2018 will be the year for it.

Thank you 2017, you were awesome!!

With love,

late bloomer

I have always known that I am a late bloomer.

I’m probably the last girl in class to learn a dance step and master it after all have rested.

I’m probably the last one who appreciates Star wars now that it’s on its Nth episode.

(I seriously don’t know who Luke sky walker was and his contribution to the world that they’re living in.)

I’m probably the last one who enjoyed carbonara just because I was loyal with red sauce pasta.

And yes, I’m probably the last girl who falls in love…

Believe me when I say that I have never ever cried out from a heartbreak.

And I never have truly fallen in love either.

Someone asked me why I never had a relationship and tell you what, I have never fathomed the answer to it before. Not until recently…

I realized that ever since, my goals were always centred to myself. It’s more about pursuing my dreams and chasing opportunities.

I’ve had romantic experiences but none really succeeded because I thought, they’re in for nothing but a fling. When someone told me he liked me, I told him, I liked him back. But when he demanded that I stayed… I thought, why?

My priorities were focused on what I want to achieve. It was targeted towards me being successful and seeing the world. It was never about being with someone and committing myself to him in exchange for my being free-spirited.

I valued my freedom that in no qualms, I leaped even if it means leaving.

At 30, it seems clearer that I wanted to climb to the next level.

I am a late bloomer when it comes to love. And quite honestly, I am still in confusion whether I believe if love lasts completely or if it is inversely proportional with time. (I have my reasons.)

Someone told me I am hard to please but easy to love.

Well, I guess so. I am a late bloomer when it comes to expressing my emotions because chances are, my mind gets in the way and when my mind sets itself to something like leaving, I do it, without looking back.

I am a late bloomer but I believe blooming is all about timing.