exaggerations

I scrolled Facebook and saw how happy my friends’ posts are.

I’ve seen their husband, kids, and the little things they do as a family.

 

I’m not going to lie. Seeing those, I began to feel a familiar ache deep within me. I wondered whether I will have the same fate. I wondered whether I can be as happy as I perceive them to be with all the settling down and blossoming family life.

 

I closed my Facebook app and switched to Instagram. I saw the same thing. I saw smiling faces of celebrity couples lounging at home for quarantine. I saw newly engaged Demi Lovato. I also saw the other Demi, cheek padded as she just had a wisdom tooth removal surgery and Tim Tebow was capturing that moment. I even saw my close friend, having the time of her life with her new beau.

 

In that moment, I began to feel uneasy.

I know, we need to be happy for someone else. I always inject that in mind. But I cannot help myself from feeling uncomfortable. To put it bluntly, I felt a tinge of bitterness in my mouth.

 

What is wrong with me?

 

Seeking to find a neutral mindset I opened Google and searched for inspiring words.

 

“What’s yours will always come your way.”

 

Yes, right! I vehemently agreed.

 

“Be happy about someone’s success. Everyone has their own time.”

 

I pondered more heavily on that.

 

It is so easy to count the blessings of others and compare myself to them. I sometimes forget that there are perhaps few others who would give everything they’ve got to exchange with mine.

 

While I am anxiously comparing my life, I forget that I have so many things that I have that others lack. I may have 300 grapes, 200 apples and 0 strawberries, and I focused so much on the strawberries while I have 500 other fruits with me!

 

I realized that oftentimes, my biggest enemy lies in my mind. I feel negative emotions because I let my mind to it. The anxiety towards everything that I think I lack is easily elevated to make me think that I am empty.

 

It is in these exaggerations that makes everything extra heavy.

 

With these thoughts in mind, I opened my socmed apps again.

I felt lighter. I feel that we only show what we want to show so it is but right to see what we only want to see.

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