FRIENDS

I am so damn late!

Like all else in my life, I am late even as a fan of FRIENDS! You heard me. I have just become a fan of this show. Imagine, it’s been around since the 1990s and I just had the opportunity to sit down and watch it uninterrupted?

It’s never too late, they said. Yes! I get to post snippets from the show, appreciate the OSTs and best of all, discern who I am similar with. Was it Rachel, a go-getter who claimed her independence by earning what she eats? Was it Monica, highly competitive, obsessive-compulsive? Was it Phoebe, just funny and weird but real? Was it Joey, loyal and dependable to his friends? Was it Ross, intelligent but impractical at times? OR.. Chandler, self-proclaimed pessimist but loving?

I am guessing I am a little bit of all of them. Or at least, that’s what I think. But if there’s a favorite, I would love to be Phoebe. She doesn’t have a care in the world. She’s weird. She almost always has strange ideas and justifications. She’s sometimes dumb. But she has a big heart. Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? See? She has the biggest of hearts to be too concerned about cats,how much more about mankind?

What I love about this show, albeit the late discovery, is that it cheers me up. There’s this certain lift of emotions every time I watch. For example, there’s this day that I am feeling irritable. I am simply out of the mood. I watched FRIENDS and halfway towards an episode, my mood has been lifted!

I’m taking a mental note to remember this show on days that I feel down. It will help boost my enthusiasm.

My major takeaway from this show is that friends are really your chosen family. You don’t have to be blood related to feel closeness. You just have to be a friend and true friends will find you. I like that it also shows the realities of friendships such as being jealous or possessive of your friends, having arguments and conflicts, swapping boyfriends and beaus. Haha

Anyway, nevermind me being late in giving my full attention to this show. It’s better late than never! Teehee!

Pair of ears, anyone?

People change.

Those things that I thought were outrageous, somewhat became plausible or even the norm.

For instance, when one of my closest friends confided about her desire to stay separated from her husband but have no-string attached boyfriends… no one from the group seemed to have a wild reaction. Me included. It seemed that those ideas you thought were a big no-no now become, “oh okay” or “then what?” or “maybe”. 

When a friend openly mentioned her husband’s fetish, it didn’t seem different. There’s this implicit bond about being at this age and sharing things that happen in REAL life. It surprises me that as a single person, hearing concerns about marriage never faze me. It is not that I faked my reaction, there’s just this understanding that whether or not these things happened to me, these are real issues that need real solutions or just active ears listening to it.

Have we become less judgmental?

Perhaps. Our experiences shape who we are. When we were younger, we had these straight lines and arrows which we vehemently followed. When we come to this age, we learn that lines can be jagged, curved or broken even. Things happen for a reason. Sometimes, we are so quick to give our two cents insisting on morals and values that we have accumulated since young, but when we hear the stories behind the decision, we begin to see things beyond the surface.

I am not saying that I tolerate immoral actions. No.

I am saying that even if a friend does have a different view of things, judging them even before they lay down all their facts isn’t helpful. Hear them out. 

My professor in Negotiations and Conflict stated that the sense that is less likely used in communication is hearing. When we are in a conversation, we try to share something that is relatable to keep the conversation going regardless of whether we understand the main point of discussion. We don’t converse just for the sake of “relating”, we converse because we need to understand.

I guess talking boils down to acceptance. You need not share the same sentiments but you can still remain friends. You don’t condemn them just because they have different opinions. Instead, you slowly present a different idea without pushing too hard. 

As I look around my strings of relationships… I have come down to a realization that indeed, people change. We know them as this or that but what happened in between, in a span of distance or experiences, there’s that space that was filled with various thoughts, ideas and lessons.

I was always the chatty friend but nowadays, I am that “observer” friend. I don’t need to be “relatable”, I just lend my ears when you need a pair! 

Your friend,

Faith over fear

“Fear is the absence of faith.”

As the day of leaving nears, I am having mixed emotions. “Is this for me?” “Is this what I want?” “Will it be worth it?” are the questions that I have to deal with on a daily basis. 

I have spent my life savings for this, studied so hard, fought tooth and nail to remain enrolled. To say the least, I have put everything in my power for this goal and redirect my sail to this one objective. My mom keeps on asking me, “Do you have to go?” and when I think about leaving my ageing parents, I can’t help but second guess if it really is the way for me.

The “what ifs” quadruple. 

What if I leave and something happens? What if I leave and experience poverty? What if I don’t achieve what I am hoping for? What if I am pushing myself so hard when I can be content with life as it is?

These what-ifs make me think about what matters. 

This is not the first time that I am leaving. I have spent much of my 20s overseas. Alone. But why does it get harder? 

When asked about a turning point in my life during job interviews early in my career, I can’t think of anything other than graduating college. But with this another adventure, I know for a fact that this is it! This is the greatest turning point because it’s all or nothing.

To say that I am calm and relaxed about this move is a lie. In fact, I am anxious. I am afraid that I’d get the same episodes of depression and loneliness from my previous experience. I learned that as much as I am okay with being alone, I cannot stand being alone for long. That place is too far from home and it scares me to feel so alone in a far away place.

However, I always go back to the beginning of this journey. I declared that when I get an approval, it’s for me and when I don’t, it’s a sign that I’m not meant to be there. I always hold on to this thought. I know it’s worth the shot. More than the finances, I hope to be fulfilled. I hope that when I get to think about this move a few years from now, I’d have a smile on my face because I feared for nothing.

I pray that God continuously steps in and this pursuit, no matter how long and arduous the process is, becomes mine. Mine to be happy about. Mine to be a piece of achievement. Mine to be a testament of God’s unending love and promises.

Fear is the absence of faith. I need to be reminded that whatever happens is already in the lines of my palms.