Anger Management

I’m generally calm and cool.

But as I grow older, I found that another side of me is gradually coming out. I don’t know if it’s the hormones and moods or just generally an influence by my environment.

I don’t like being this but there are days when I become the HULK. I am becoming an angry person and that startles me.

I get angry with unreasonable people. I use to get scared of people demanding something from me. I worked in the customer service field for a long time and the role involves a lot of pacifying. When a VIP comes in and demands a thing or two to be done, pronto. It must be done pronto. But as I get more experience, I get tired of these foolish people. I get angry thinking about their kind’s privilege.

I’ve never worked in the BPO industry, but I get the exasperation of agents taking distressed calls from unreasonable callers. Today, someone called the office phone and started blabbering about how upset he was about a parking ticket. I did my best to hear him out, but he sounded too arrogant. He did not even call the correct number. I told him he should call the other property, but he stated, “I will sue you”. That perked my ears, I was about to shoot him “Then sue me” but I remembered Kondraty Ryleyev, a Russian poet whose punchline seemed great but was the cause of his demise. So, I said, “I’m sorry but don’t you think you are barking at the wrong tree?” In the end, I transferred his call because I am about to forget everything about my newfound philosophy the more, I spend time listening to him.

As I rewind what happened and how I reacted, I reflected on how I changed. It seemed to be a struggle to control my cool when I am provoked. I get so worked up like a volcano waiting to erupt. I seem to feel belittled, and I think that when you allow someone once, it sets precedence over all the disrespect that you are about to experience.

Patience… well, it used to be one of my strongest points. But these days, I’d say it’s wearing thin.

When someone says, “I am upset”, I don’t understand why I get to be the absorber. I don’t get why I need to accept their negativities. And I guess the reason is that I always try to paint coolness despite my own chaos and not lather them to everyone around me.

Taking cue on my past brushes with rage and anger, I found solace in this newfound philosophy. I learned that I do not need to react to every banter, action, and provocation the world is putting me into. I do not need to show feelings in every situation. I do not need to accept or reject. I can stay neutral. However, it is easier said than done. I have a long way to practice my philosophy and when the situation presents itself, I acknowledge that it is very challenging to remember everything I learned thus far.

I am a work in progress and battling with anger trying to consume me is part of the process. It’s a long way to go but trying my best has never failed me in my goals.