decisions again

So good to be back!

My mind was so busy thinking about a life-changing decision. I have been ranting about it for weeks and put myself to deep concentration to come up with the best choice possible.

After two weeks, I am back! What was it? What happened?

When I least expected it, I received a call from a Major Bank here in Singapore. It was too good to be true, my dream bank. In fact, it was the reason why I came here in Singapore. I felt like I had the chance to be part of them.

I went in a lot of recruitments for it, and unfortunately got ditched every time. But for me, that was just about it, I was consumed by the thrill of chasing it. It’s like colourful candies stored in a clear glass bottles, my attempt to reach it gets more challenging but every time, it’s set to a higher distance, beyond my reach. I became greedy for it. LOL

To say the least, I grew challenged. I thought to myself, I have what it takes, modesty- aside,  I got the background, I got the skills, I got the academics, I got the ahermmmm… LOOKS (char lang ni LOL). But then, I always got booted, how come? Rejections came in a handy and all the more, I grew hungry for it.

When everything else fell into place, my job seems a bit okay to me, my outlook seemed to be more relaxed, I got a ring from them and they told me to come down for an interview. I was shocked and again, the hunger came alive. Without thinking twice, I had myself on leave.

The interview went fine. In fact, I liked the interviewer. She seemed so pleasant, so nice and sweet, not to mention, cute (most locals don’t lol). I had a good feeling towards it. I called my friend, told her, I feel good about the interview. That day, I juggled 2 interviews, 1 from the bank, 1 from an investment company. And in between, I received a phone call, from the same bank, asking me if they can have a second interview in their main office for HR purposes.

They asked me if I can come back the day after, but I told them I cannot (my boss will kill me if I get on leave again, that’s ABUSO in caps) so instead, I asked if I can have it that same day. (kapal lang ng face, nagparesched pa) and yes, they agreed.

The interview was again, pleasing. I felt good. Though, I had shades of gray as they told me about the salary. I mean, experience-wise, I got it. And working in a bank, I had the idea how stressful the life is (compared to my current job) and because somehow, I can gauge, I know my price.

I waited for their call but I haven’t received any. In my heart, I know that everything went well. And it’s pretty much impossible if they reject me again (I am THAT confident). Then I heard from a good friend that the bank cannot fulfil my price. She said, though you have experience, the bank wants you to start from scratch, thus, the salary is lower than what you expect.

I was surprised. Imagine? My DREAM bank? CANNOT afford my salary? LOWER than my expected? Like to me, it’s supposed to be higher than my current. Then my friend told me, let’s meet, I’ll tell you the benefits. She knew right then and there, my world was shattered, my expectations got booted and everything else about the company went bland for my taste.

Then I told my parents. I asked advice from them, but as usual, they just told me “go for what you desire… pray” then I asked my sissy almost desperately as the bank needs my answer ASAP if I take it or not.

My friend told me about the benefits and all. It sounds appealing. I told her, I will weigh things first before thrusting deep to saying YES. I asked my sissy, my ever, reactive-on-impulse sister. She told me, what’s it in for you? Will you be richer? Will you be more relaxed? Will you be happier? I say NO. Stick to your job. Just like that.

So then, I told my sister, it will be prestigious. It will hone my resume for my next job somewhere else. It’s a big break! Not everyone is given the chance, you know how I waited for my chance right? She told me, what is prestige? Prestige is for the insecure. You know, you have it in you. Wherever you will go, it doesn’t matter, all else doesn’t, it’s innate girl. Why indulge to a more stressful life? To the life of worries?

She said, Look at me, I left a prestigious company too, I became a boss in a span of time in a less prestigious company thereafter, but to me, that’s just about it. My happiness, family and relaxed simple life MATTERS MORE. It will be a good milestone for you, but will you be happy? I think you should find it in your heart. You know what you’re happiest about.

Hmnnn… Mostly, my sister is more on impulse. Unlike me, it will take me so many days and nights of thinking, but then again, she’s really my ELDER sister. She has this profound understanding to things in an instant. I found comfort in that.

So to make the long story short, I DECLINED the offer. I had a hard time, finally telling the boss that I refuse to accept the offer.

And maybe, I will regret this missed chance. I will regret that I haven’t been part of that BANK. But then again, life is too short to live in regrets. I choose to move forward, to make myself better with the path that I am in. I whole-heartedly THANK the people who gave me the chance. Perhaps, I proved myself that “I have it…really” and it’s something to me. It’s a big thing to me, and I will always be grateful for it.

But above all, I thank God for always giving me the chance to reach my dreams. I thank you Lord Almighty for teaching me the virtue of waiting. Thank you Lord!

Ad Majorem dei Gloriam! =)))