prexypinoy to the world

Tired… There are days that I seem to over analyze everything. From basic aspects, it leads me to think so much about my future. My sissy once said, “You seem to think of so many things that aren’t even appropriate for your age.” And she’s RIGHT! That’s what makes me different from her. I told you, I’ve got worries of a 40-year-old, mother of six children. I just can’t stop myself from thinking about how life will become of me. There are days when I feel a lot lonely and make me think even the wildest of thoughts like leaving it all, No looking back. A GREAT ESCAPE. It thrills me not to know where to go, crossing borders, being free from inhibitions. When all else fell to fate and leaving spontaneity in full action. Isn’t it exciting? Maybe the thrill that I am feeling out from it is psychological in nature. Like I am a person of plans and goals and breaking free from it is a HIGH for me. My sis once told me “you’re only 25, live your life. Know yourself better, be you...

I super hate you. Honestly, I don’t know what’s with you that make me so much drawn to you. Maybe, your weirdness is the same wavelength as mine. Maybe, your unpredictable nature baffles me to my excitement. Maybe, your way of showing how you like me is unconventional and I find it interesting. I hate you. I hate your guts. Feeling like you’re so sure of yourself. Like, I am that faithful. Hear this out. Maybe one day I’d realize completely that you aren’t the one for me or perhaps I am realizing that now. Maybe one day I’d wake up smiling over someone’s memory. Maybe one day, I’d realize how lame I am to have liked you in the first place. Maybe one day, you’ll just become part of my thoughts, a flashback of good times- young, wild and free to like, or love! I hate you because you make me feel as though I can take everything. I hate you because I never knew I am capable of enduring. I hate you because all my friends are screaming No and I seem to agree, but in the en...

Kainis ka! Alam mo yung, nandun n asana sa level na ok na, plantsado na kaso nagkadeperensya pa! Mygahd higad, isa kang malaking X na dapat matagal ko ng inilibing sa limot. Isa kang malaking nunal na ayaw matanggal tanggal kahit laser pa ang ipantira ko. Isa kang bwiset na langaw na di mamatay matay kahit pa isa lagapak na bongga aking ibibigay. Bakit ganun? Mali ito. Mali na makaramdam ng bonggang pagkagusto lalo pa’t di ka sigurado. Alam ko na kasi ang ending nito, ako ang dehado. Sa totoo lang, di ko na dapat inentertain ang thoughts ko about you. Hindi ka naman masyadong gwapo para pagtuonan ko ng pansin, in fact, what you are, ordinary beauty. Common face in a bunch of crowd intersecting in a pedestrian. Ang masakit pa, you made me believe. You lead me on. Pero don’t worry, I am not wholly blaming you for everything, I have a part too kaya nga dobleng sakit. Why, because I played along. I was somehow expecting and I am hurting. Alam kong over naman na affected...

Discernment… This one word that gets me really into it. Most often, I just suppress thoughts so as not to solicit unwanted emotions and perhaps entertain impossible ideas. The truth is, I am an over thinker. An egg can lead me to think about how the chick will become in the future. That advanced. That bo…oooring! Of course, I hate that I am being drawn to this kind of thinking. It adds worries; it makes me feel burdened about my future. I feel as though I am responsible for everything. Anyway, I went home just recently. I had a goo week-long vacation, with a hectic schedule everyday. I felt really happy that after so long, I am back home. Amidst my busy schedule, I was able to assess what I really feel about it all. And here it goes… Being in Davao is happiness. My family, my friends, all the familiar faces, the food, HOME, everything… only that, salary is low and costs are rocketing up, how to cope? Being abroad is a blessing. I get to buy what I want, do the th...

Woohoo! So I just came back from my homeland Davao . NINE MONTHS… Can you imagine? It’s like being pregnant and running away for people not to notice. It’s THAT long. It’s excruciating. Going home and seeing the place you used to go to, meeting hundreds of friends, bumping into familiar faces, bonding with the family and yes, some hope for some budding LOVE. (or okay, let’s cross out the latter) I told you before… I am fascinated by the fact of coming home after a long time of being away. I am fascinated by the smell of airports back home coming from huge, ultra modern airports abroad. I am fascinated by being fetched some place else before coming home to Davao . I am fascinated by the changes that will surprise me. I am fascinated by HOME. Happiness is knowing that even if you stayed long abroad, you always have a place to come home to, a place where love is immortal and where you know you are safe. I was too excited to see my most favourite people and my most ...