temporary


Tired…

There are days that I seem to over analyze everything. From basic aspects, it leads me to think so much about my future. My sissy once said, “You seem to think of so many things that aren’t even appropriate for your age.”

And she’s RIGHT! That’s what makes me different from her. I told you, I’ve got worries of a 40-year-old, mother of six children. I just can’t stop myself from thinking about how life will become of me. There are days when I feel a lot lonely and make me think even the wildest of thoughts like leaving it all, No looking back.

A GREAT ESCAPE. It thrills me not to know where to go, crossing borders, being free from inhibitions. When all else fell to fate and leaving spontaneity in full action. Isn’t it exciting? Maybe the thrill that I am feeling out from it is psychological in nature. Like I am a person of plans and goals and breaking free from it is a HIGH for me.

My sis once told me “you’re only 25, live your life. Know yourself better, be your worst but collect yourself to be the best, don’t box yourself in gurl, there’s the world for your taking” And perhaps I should take it from her. She’s done all this liberating feeling of being away from home. Enjoyed her singlehood in full bloom and now that she’s married, she’s got no regrets!

The zest in me is inconsistent. Some days I’m fired up and some days I just feel burdened by all the duties that I have to do. I am getting bored, tired and the energy is decreasing. I feel too old to go partying, too old to go for girls’ night and too old to be feeling kilig a thousand times and one. Again, I blame it to QUARTER LIFE CRISIS. (For lack of better reason)

Being busy with everyday hurdle is normal. Feeling fed up is the most ordinary thing. But giving up… well, it’s another story.

Anyway, all I ever want is a happy life. A life with meaning and yes, when I go gray, I just want to remember life, as something that makes me young all over again. It’s safe to say that all I ever wanted is a life well-lived.



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