temporary
Tired…
There are
days that I seem to over analyze everything. From basic aspects, it leads me to
think so much about my future. My sissy once said, “You seem to think of so
many things that aren’t even appropriate for your age.”
And she’s
RIGHT! That’s what makes me different from her. I told you, I’ve got worries of
a 40-year-old, mother of six children. I just can’t stop myself from thinking
about how life will become of me. There are days when I feel a lot lonely and
make me think even the wildest of thoughts like leaving it all, No looking back.
A GREAT
ESCAPE. It thrills me not to know where to go, crossing borders, being free
from inhibitions. When all else fell to fate and leaving spontaneity in full
action. Isn’t it exciting? Maybe the thrill that I am feeling out from it is
psychological in nature. Like I am a person of plans and goals and breaking
free from it is a HIGH for me.
My sis once
told me “you’re only 25, live your life. Know yourself better, be your worst but
collect yourself to be the best, don’t box yourself in gurl, there’s the world
for your taking” And perhaps I should take it from her. She’s done all this liberating
feeling of being away from home. Enjoyed her singlehood in full bloom and now
that she’s married, she’s got no regrets!
The zest in
me is inconsistent. Some days I’m fired up and some days I just feel burdened
by all the duties that I have to do. I am getting bored, tired and the energy
is decreasing. I feel too old to go partying, too old to go for girls’ night
and too old to be feeling kilig a thousand times and one. Again, I blame it to
QUARTER LIFE CRISIS. (For lack of better reason)
Being busy
with everyday hurdle is normal. Feeling fed up is the most ordinary thing. But
giving up… well, it’s another story.
Anyway, all
I ever want is a happy life. A life with meaning and yes, when I go gray, I
just want to remember life, as something that makes me young all over again. It’s
safe to say that all I ever wanted is a life well-lived.
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