leap

Read again.

You told me to exactly do that but I told you I cannot.

Sometimes, the more you go over it again, the more words become too define to stab your heart. I refused to reread all that we’ve talked about. It hurts to read such promising words and end up in a completely opposite direction.

There’s no single day that I can’t think of you. Sometimes I feel all these hurt and pain are just figments of my imagination that it was not real and I am not experiencing what I feel as of the moment. In denial, they say. It’s so hard to move on from here. I’m like a worm trying to crawl out to a hole about a kilometre far.

Frankly, we talked and I felt happy. Somehow, my burdens are taken out from me. I have so much to say but I kept it for so long because I don’t want to sound desperate. Why would I push myself in? But since you asked for it, it’s a good feeling to tell you those things. It’s like coming out from my shell. A growth in my kind of person and I thank you for that.

Time heals all wounds, cliché. But if I can wish a thing right now, that is exactly what I want. To be healed and see love in a different, positive light. To be honest, I am drawn to think that my destiny is to fall for a guy who can’t and won’t be mine. It alarms me.

My good friend told me “You know what the problem with you is, you take things seriously. You’re too stiff, loosen up a bit”

I guess she’s right. All this time, I think I always think of something too much.

It’s tiring to think of the could’ve beens so I’ll rest my case. Maybe it’s time not to take a grip of something too much rather, I’ll learn to let go and take many more leaps of faith, with open or closed eyes!