responsibility

Sense of responsibility.

I’ve been working my ass off for the last 5 years of my life. I’ve been here and there, enjoyed and depressed about tiny fibres of life.

Through the years, I’ve been very careful about the idea of investing. I invested much on memories than the tangible things. I regret nothing about it. I love my life. I live every single day for memories that I accumulate one day at a time.

My realization is this: At 25, I feel that it is the time to invest on something for long-term.

I chatted with a friend and she shared about the car loan she’s having for her parents. Wow! Such a big step. Honestly, I’ve been evasive with loans. I feel as though I am obliged to work the hardest and the pressure would swallow me eventually.

I learned that I am afraid of commitments. I am afraid of being strapped into something I am not sure I’d hold onto longer.

It boils down to one thing: FEAR. I fear for the future. I fear about the uncertainties that come along with it. Now I begin to understand what my mom told me when I was younger…

“We choose not to get a subdivision lot because it’s 25 years to pay and your dad’s job isn’t that stable.”

I would agree because I know the consequences of getting loans. I promised myself not to engage in loans as much as I can. But right now, the idea is obsolete. I cannot acquire something unless I pay for it half of my life.

Which brings me to a point, why should I be afraid of the uncertainties when these are indispensable?

Life is how we make it. 5 years, 10 years, or even 25 years may be too much but time passes fast.

I hope I get to achieve what I want and set aside my worries and doubts. When will I begin? When it’s too late and I’ve got much to regret?