truths about coming home for good

Moving back was not an easy decision. It took me years to finally say goodbye to the life that I made and have been living by. These are the lessons that I have learned in time. These are the hard truths about OFWs going back home.

Things I have learned after I moved back home:

1)    Appreciate kindness

I seem to take for granted simple joys like receiving a piece of chocolate from friends because I can afford to buy a box previously. I seem not to notice minute details of kindness before because I grew accustomed to grand displays of kindness like gifting a friend her favorite watch or contributing money to buy her most-eyed jewelry. But the more I have less, the more I appreciate acts of kindness. There is no big or small in any acts of kindness.

2)    Enjoy the little things

I appreciate a walk, fresh air fanning my face or even spending time in the arcade. I always thought traveling was my passion until I have less means to do so. I still like traveling to Paris or picnics in Seoul but I also like the beach, the road trips to Buda, the impromptu trip to Mati. I also like going for a night drive to San Pedro Street. It is a good idea to savor the moments while you have it.

3)    Spend quality time

I have not been around for few years and things have changed tremendously. The traffic, the unfamiliarity of people who pass me by, the frequency of the bad weather. Back then, there is none or less if I may say so. Being home reminded me that nothing lasts forever and so it is best to take in as much experiences as I can, be with my family and the friends that I cherish with to make up for the lost times.

4)    Save a lot

When you work overseas, you really have to save every dime. Be comfortable with having less or more money. The spending patterns should not change drastically. When I was in the overseas, I was a spendthrift with material things. My thought was I don’t own a house back home, so where would I put the material things that I accumulated? I spent on experiences because memories last unless I have an amnesia. If you have a house, make purchases that would last, it’s good as a future investment.

5)    Invest in your own personal space

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT. Coming home after being independent was a difficult process. My adjustment was suave but rough on the edges at times. As a grown woman, I don’t think it is a good idea to live with your family again. Do not get me wrong, I love my family and I am very close with them but personally, I am best to live alone because I want to live at my own pace. I have been living independently and I grew accustomed to my own rules and time, so when I came back, the people around me expected me to be the same me. I was not. I am more laidback and borderline lazy now, not the same energetic with raging hormones-kind of teenager. It is a difficult task to make people understand that I was not the same ME in terms of personal space and preferences.

There are more lessons that I have learned while being here. I feel as though I am back here with fresh eyes. There are some things that I cannot relate to, those trivial things that remain trivial because I do not WANT to care about them.

If I have an unsolicited advice to give, it would be: For single GROWN WOMEN like me, I would save up really hard before going home. I will buy my own house first and try to settle it before I come home. Make it a place entirely for myself, one that matches my personality best so that when I come home, I’d come home to same brand of personal space that I grew accustomed of in the overseas.

Coming home for good is never easy. Before you decide to come home for good, prepare yourself--- possibly for the worst: for the joblessness and most especially the financial difficulty. It is not easy to come home without MONEY or less money because your bank account will shrink over time inevitably.

Lastly, prepare your mental and emotional state, there will be hopelessness, withdrawal, denial or even depression. You won’t be earning much more than what you earned in the overseas. Or worst, you will have no means of income. You can also apply for a job here first before you come home. I wanted to rest for a year so I did not apply to anything at all until I was alarmed to see the decreasing digits on my bank account! (LOL) from then on, I took on online jobs. They don’t pay as much but at least it can supplement my other needs.

Most OFWs come home bongga until they bleed dry with nothing but old glory. Come home steadily. Calm as the morning breeze, I swear, you’ll bleed dry longer! :P