closed book

The emptiness keeps lingering... the thought of you reminds me so much of the fun times we had together. Those may not be exactly how we wanted it to be but at least there were "those" moments that never fail to make me smile bitter sweetly.

Truth is, I have tried so hard to forget you. I blocked all the access to let me reach you or tempts me to do so. It's just not right. I just feel so guilty that whenever I see you and hear from you this whatever-it-is has it's own mind that beats as if on a drum roll. I think that should never be the case.

You left me paralyzed, and now that I'm regaining the consciousness you took away from me, you strike again. The nerve! I just can't allow myself to go on the same ground again. I will never allow myself to be feeling the same way again. When I was able to confirm it, I thought I had died in that instant. Imagine my shock, when I saw the glimpse of you. It just tore me quite figuratively.

I am just so thankful I have never really told you how I really felt for you way, way back 'cause now I know, You were not worth every single feeling I dare felt. You were not the person I thought you were. I am thankful, I have known it before I come ocean-deep for you.

Somehow, the distance and the time really helped. I am a new me. A new me without you. But yes, I feel like I am just delusional. It wasn't your fault. But you led me on. I cannot accept that fact that I was misguided by your actions. And there I was, feeling like a complete fool, imagining things wildly. Now where was the smart ass everyone knows about? Non- existing.

Sure you call me jealous and stuffs but I wouldn't mind. I simply wouldn't mind on whatever you want to call me 'cause after all, your opinion in general, doesn't matter. Sorry to say boy, you just lost the pedestal I had for you.

And this, the thought of you, rarely happens to me now. This is just one of the rare nights I accepted you in my memories... you must be thankful. But sorry to burst your bubble, I am on my way to be over you... completely.

You're a book, very illustrative, full of colors, the cover so nice but in summary, you're just that book I have in my cabinet, just for display. Clearly, you lack the substance that I expected to read from you. Forget you!