You are

I feel neglected.

The truth is, when your world revolve around the small circle, each piece is a major element.

When a piece, takes its turn to jump out your circle and explore different ones around, you’ll be left missing a part. What to do? Take a new one to complete the circle? Work on the ones left and make it even a smaller circle? Leap entirely out of the circle? I wonder.

At times, I think the best solution is to take a new one and forget the part that decided to leap out. But when that part becomes an important piece of you, you can’t just replace it. It’s valuable. Many others might have the same characteristics, composition, but you know, it’s never the same.

Perhaps, work on the ones that are left of you? Yes, it might be feasible. But to have an even smaller circle is a danger itself. When the other parts, decide to leap out as well, what have you got? A bruised ego? Irreparable damage of core? Lack of esteem? That can’t be.

Or maybe, to leap out of your circle entirely? To isolate? To learn how to stand on your own? To go back to the basics? To start from scratch? This?

I guess when you come into a point of your life that you need to re-evaluate your possessions and let go of some, you need to come into you senses of being strong as it is. No matter how rejected, neglected, frustrated, betrayed and distracted you feel, you just cling in to the hope that you will be okay. You were okay before it, why would you not be okay now?

It is imperative that you’ll be left alone at some point in one’s life. And the challenge is how to deal with it…

When you’re stripped off from the things that you thought, completes you... it’s destruction. It’s like you’ll never be whole again. (Especially when those things have been with you for quite some time.) It makes you feel incompetent, degraded and pretty much pretty f—ked up.

But believe me when I say that it’s just a stubborn tweak in your head telling you that it’s really the biggest of deal. Well, IT’S NOT. Although, it is challenging to balance out your personal feelings and the feelings of others who want to leap out from your circle. Personally, at first I thought it was my fault. I have this habit of taking responsibility of these decisions. But later, I realized, I can only control what my mind tells me and not the mind of the others.

Growing up entails responsibility of your actions. But of keeping in mind other people’s reaction, I’d say that’s not part of the curriculum. Thus,  I’m learning not to care. (learning--- progressing to NO CARE AT ALL)

I realized that for me to be happy is to let go of people who do not have care as much as I do. Yes, it might be a selfish idea but to care less about careless people is happiness in its secret recipe. I realized that I am not entitled to an exclusive right of keeping the person, vice versa. In as much as I want to be loyal and pretty much sentimental about these platonic relationships, I also have to make way for new ones. I also need to create a space to be filled in by other parts.

The key is not only keeping the circle small, but to widen it. But to be able to do that is not to confuse losing of one’s identity. It does not sum up to destructing one’s self like a sacrificial instrument to keep stronger circles. I realized that to be able to take responsibility of even a smaller circle is to take responsibility of the self first.

It is not your fault that people part ways. It is not your fault that relationships turn bland. It is not your fault that times are changing, so do people. So do You.

It is unfair to feel neglected and emptied just because people decide against your own. Let’s stop doing it amongst ourselves. Please.

Who cares if you’re starting again? Who cares if it sounds pretty pathetic to some? Care only of what makes you happy. At the end of the day, “You’re your longest commitment”.