intermission
Bummer!
I seem to sleep
really late nowadays and I never really expected that my “bum” days will be
like this.
I cannot
pinpoint what is certainly wrong with me. Could it be the jetlag? Could it be
the hormones? Or could it simply be just the sugar that I consumed before going
to sleep or through the day?
I’m writing
this to document my thoughts as my mind is too active during this time of the
day, 1:18AM and and so on.
For one, I
am in this time of my life where I certainly welcome the ambiguity but I keep
going backward and feel anxious.
Where am I
going? What do I want to do?
These have
been thoughts that I deluded myself from thinking because I don’t want to feel
confused. But alas, I want to man up and just face these basic questions because
in these, lie how I want to proceed with my life.
Truthfully,
it scares the hell lot of me. I’ve never been so unsure except that this has
been the second time.
I’d like to
think that this is an intermission of my life. That stanza before the chorus.
And perhaps,
to be able to appreciate it well, I need not feel anxious because it will
settle by itself.
Gone are
those days where I just go with what others say. Gone are those days where I go
where the others are heading. Gone are those days where I am just “one of them”
because there is beauty in knowing that I am doing what I want to do and honestly
speaking using the voice that I am given. With all that comes the attempt of
going a step forward.
I want to
keep calm and cool despite everything because I chose this.
I want to
keep walking without looking back because I know I am headed for a CERTAIN destination.
I want to
be free from the shackles of worries because let’s face it, everyone is just
unsure, they’re just pretending to be COOL.
I want to
be comfortable with the idea that I am privileged to be given this chance, to
know where I stand and choose which way I’m going because I have the means to
do so.
I’d like to
stand still and follow my heart because life is short and everything is
momentary.
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