prexypinoy to the world

...because friends do come and go, all I have is myself to depend on. Some lines I heard from a song. And it seems true to me. No matter how friendships are built, no matter how solid and long-time it is, there will always be that factor that drives us to a point where the friendship is best defined. Distance for example can be a very demanding factor. I guess what I need to have as new year's resolution is the fact that I can be with myself in plain security. Sometimes when you have so much friends, the tendency is to develop a barrier between you and other people not belonging in your cycle of friends, and even worse is the barrier you develop within your self. The presence of a person can be very consistent thus, you get used to it and eventually, if she leaves you, you'll end up hanging in open air. Friends do come and go but even if I know the idea, I just can't seem to detach myself a little bit more clearly. It's difficult to develop fondness and eventually spit ...

Surprise! Best word that I can come up to whenever I think about my life in twenty ten. It's like a gift hurriedly wrapped in plain, ordinary and simple clean sheet but the moment I opened it, I saw a diamond ring. It's like a drama movie but I end up laughing. It's like a hate letter I received from few of my detractors only to realize I read the apology and the renewed support and love. It's like an old flame realizing He's still in love with me after the major breakup. hahaha Sweet life! (beyond thinking na ata yan) But really, 2010 has brought me a lot of memories I am sure I would treasure. Some said hello and some said goodbye. The cycle of life, but no matter what, it has still been a memorable year for me. At 23, what, year of the ox? (I'm not sure) I have been blessed with a lot of opportunities. I have been bombarded with a lot of chances for growth and I have been poured with self- discoveries. And of course, Thank you God for all my travels. It means...

My one true love, Christmas season! There is something in it that gives me the inner joy I always wanted to feel. There is something in it that creates in me a tingling feeling of satisfaction, of completeness and most absolutely, gratefulness. There is so much to thank Him for. The chances he gives are unimaginable. Anyway, this season brings in me a lot of realizations. This is somewhat an out of the ordinary season for me as it stirs in a lot of emotions. Perhaps, I can say that I am growing up. I get to feel more and more of it. The self-discovery and more challenging is the acceptance. Ho Ho Ho Ho! amidst my Hu Hu Hu Hu... This year, It brings about all the excitement. That aside, I am half- hearted. Maybe this is my way of learning things. This is fate's way of teaching me things I ought to know. And the flashback hit me, I am not an island, I am not that someone who is capable of staying strong the whole time within her dilemma. I choose to be weak this time. I choose to fee...

Family Affair! Funny how my company party turns out to be a family affair. From my fab dress to my unique mask, everyone's just too busy for it. It's not as if I'm complaining instead I am delighted and grateful to know that everyone is helping me out. So, the party is like in two days. There goes my black dress shining like a black horse's hair. There goes my shoes(my gosh! I'm not so sure if I'd be able to carry it very well), there goes my mask (It did not hide anything), there goes the accessories, oh I forgot, I haven't got any yet. Anyhow, I am excited for Saturday's event. I'm not so sure if I'd be looking like a gossip girl coming out from the elite society of New York City, perhaps, I'd just be one of the crowd, normal looking, not so pleasing, not so pitiful. I'd just be me. lol So yes, my good friend bought her mask in SG. My other good friend made hers and it looked really nice. (remember the girl I told you? The one who I was...

It isn't just me. The feeling of emptiness rushing through my veins and even before it happens, I am preparing myself. The truth hurts. The truth guarantees my loneliness and the truth is, I have to face it. I learned awhile ago that my sister's good friend is feeling just exactly how I feel. You know, seems like a door is closing on your very face. It seems like getting one's self ready for the inevitable and yet, you don't know how. The sad thing is, no matter how I try to prepare for it, still I just couldn't accept it as easy as I thought. Funny when I think about my sister's friend, trying to gather herself back again. She often refuses lunch invitation because she wants to have it alone. Somewhat, preparing herself for her going solo since my ate is leaving her in CDO. I heard that she's losing it, nakakawalang gana daw since she'll be left alone in their so-called battlefield. And surely daw, she'll miss the times when they do things their way...

IMY! It's been months since I stopped my schooling. Of course, it takes a hell lot of me to just stay where I am and stop my mind from all those negative thinking. I always tell myself that there's a lot bigger picture I am to be into. Being in school is something that really amazes me. Working and schooling is a different thing. Well, I could not definitely say that everything is so difficult to do. Surely, I had fun moments to recall. But one thing is for sure, I miss school. I miss how I panic every time I look at the clock and it's close to six pm. I miss how I relay what I learned and talk as if I know more. ( I don't) I miss how I hang out with my classmates even though at times, I can be very, very exclusive. (almost antisocial, pamati much?) I miss how I get these hands cold from nervousness every time my professor would pick a lucky winner to answer his questions (and I'd prayed so hard, I wouldn't stand up and be humiliated)and of course, I miss how An...