just do it, already!

JUST DO IT, ALREADY!

Some line I hear from the movie KNOCKED UP last night. And contrary from the movie’s sexual innuendo, the line struck me in a way that I am pushed to just do what I intend to do.

You see, the past few months have been really hard on me as I keep going back and forth in my decision to quit. I’m quitting not because I have ill feelings but because I want to start my life anew.

I have been thinking about moving back to Davao and it took me years to just go with it. I assigned 2018 as the year to do it because yeah, I’m 31! And while age is just a number, my permanent status in a foreign land isn’t Just a JUST thing.

While I slowly prepare myself to let go of the things that I have become accustomed to, here in Singapore, a part of me wouldn’t let me have peace in surrendering everything. I always find myself in a situation wherein I opt to stay. But if I give in, I know it’s now or never.

Contemplating on my next move is so much harder than when it was in my 20s. My decision to move back has earned me countless of sleepless nights as moving back entails being jobless, perhaps bored, financially unstable and some terrifying things that I can think of. And believe me when I say that I am terrified at my own thoughts. Worried about my future.

But then again, I want to see the bigger picture of why I want to move back.
For one, Family. I want to spend time with family as I’ve missed so many things for the past 7 yrs. And quite frankly, whenever I go home, I feel like I’m becoming more of myself and less of my family, Strange. Distance and absence took a toll on relationships.

Second, I need to create something for myself. Something that would be worth my time and would make me happy. What could that be? I am bound to know.

Whether I’d be moving somewhere after moving back or go back to studying law or earn my Masters, whether I take up a job or start my own biz… honestly, I have no idea. And foolish as it may sound to some, I don’t really have a concrete plan.

I just want to live. When I came to SG 7 yrs ago, I didn’t have a plan either. I believe, I can just wing it. I always have.

I should just do it and see where I go. Just do it!

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