finance genius

Paris…

Will you just be a dream or will I be making you a reality?

Hmnn… honestly, I can make it a reality. It just requires a lot of patience and “eatless” or “laagless” weekends. If I get lucky, I can fund for it in no time through saving up. It’s a viable option. In fact, it’s reachable. I can if I want to.

But… my hands are tight. You see, at this point in time, my priorities are abruptly changed. Kung dati, I take my finances too lightly, like I spend for travels here and there, isang bonus lang yan solve na. Now it’s different. I am taking in charge of a responsibility. Mahirap pala.

Sure, I can spend for travels now more than ever pero iba na. I’ve got immediate obligations na di pwedeng palampasin. Ang weird nga, I always feel insufficient. Like I want to buy this gadget but I end up pulling myself back up because meron pang dapat unahin kesa ganito or ganyan.

Mahirap mag assume ng responsibilidad. It’s not as if I am being selfish pero to put the burden in your shoulders all at the same time, nakamamatay. It adds up to the stress. I don’t want naman to be passive when I know I can do something about it.

Di lang talaga maiwasan na parang ang bigat, mahirap magbudget, mahirap isipin ang bukas kasi someone is counting on you. I just can’t drop everything like a hot potato kasi nga merong umaasa.

I feel sorry for them because when I was younger, I haven’t got major concerns like schooling in general. Kung meron akong concern before, it boils down to my baon. Kulang. Haha

My mum’s a finance genius. I regard her as an intelligent matsing kasi kahit gaano kaliit ang sweldo before, she take notice even up to the last cents. That’s why, growing up, we were taught not to point a goody or two pag nasa mall or tindahan kami, or else, husay pag uwi ng bahay. My mum’s very frugal. Todo. One bar of soap for a month, then there’s 5 of us using that. How? Well, it’s family’s secret. Haha

Now, my time has come to prove myself for this noble cause, I hope to be a finance genius too. Hay sana naman!

So sa ngayon, hay Paris, you’re so near yet so far, set aside ka muna.

wiggles

Wiggies

I don’t know but I really find wigs fascinating especially if kalbo yung nakasuot. Hehe

Whenever I find time, and the salespeople are not looking, my sissy and I used to goof around a lot. We just grabbed the wigs and try it on, then take a picture for it. And most of the time, we get caught. Anung solution naming, we give the salespeople an intimidating look, straight neck, firm face, no smile. As if we’re dead serious about getting the wigs. And sometimes, if I’m in the mood, I’d ask questions, pretending I am really interested in buying. Eh kung maka trip lang eh noh?

Basta may pagkakataon talaga, napagtitripan naming yung wig, susuotin talaga yan. And when we check out the pictures, we just find ourselves laughing.

Last night was not an exemption. My housemate works for a shop and she’s into window dressing, she brought the white wigs with her. Sabi nya, alam nyo, may wig ako dala, try natin isuot! Yun na, I had a hearty laugh sa mga itsura namin. Habang kinakabit ko, I couldn’t help but laugh at myself, I looked like a mermaid out of the waters. Haha

Pics to follow…

For now, I’m quite convinced, goofing with wigs on… is hilarious!

Help me God

Family used to be too big a term and too deep to analyze. Friends used to be fixtures. Love used to be a game of constant tragedy.

 I’ve grown up.

 I guess this has to do with all this independent living. The more you get far, the more you realize how valuable each person is in your life. Back then, I was just used to having them surrounding me. At present, what fill in most of my lonely times, are the memories.

 No, I am not being ultra dramatic about this whole thing but it is in this time of my life that I’ve learned to assess what I have and what I am most happy about.

 A and I had our usual discussion, mostly about whining about our situation. Then she told me, “too bad, we can’t be each other’s support now ‘cause we both feel depressed” And I told her, “You know what, let’s put it this way, our experience here is not at all bad. In fact, we’re one of the lucky few ‘cause we get to experience life. One day, when we get home, I am so sure we’d had a good laugh out from this experience” And most probably, that got the two of us smiling.

 I begin to wonder, is it just us? I mean, I got friends scattered all around the world, and they’re cool about it. In fact, they loved it. And here comes the two piglets, moving in to SG but wanting to move back. Is it just us? Are we not contented? Or maybe, what we have is a culture shock. From the comforts of being home to the hassles of being independent.

 I just don’t get the big picture. What’s my purpose? I seem to have lost my goal why I came here in the first place. You see, I have this huge drive to achieve my dreams, I am known to chasing them. But now that I’ve achieved quite a number of them, I seem to have lost the focus.

The reason why I became down for a couple of weeks is the thought about my next plan.

 At twenty five, I just can’t afford to be tambay. At twenty five, I can’t afford to be staying home, watching tv and look like a rug all day. Most definitely, at twenty five, I can’t afford to ask money from my parents!

 So help me God.

 

sabeerday

Saturdays.

Yes, I still wake up early but who cares, I can always go back to sleep. I love how the sheets are giving me comfort and my pillows are too soft to cuddle. I love how my pyjamas are relaxed because they know I am in no hurry to take a bath.

And when the sun is up, the curtains serve well, the windows in mist and the air conditioner soothes my senses, it’s Love. What I love most is if I wake up with the sound of rain in the background, and as I look outside my glass windows, the sky’s crying its heart out, sobbing in pain and trying to dry all her tear ducts. It may seem gloomy but it makes me feel like home.

The bed gets a lot more alluring. The watch becomes purposeless. I turn on the radio and tune in to a smooth and easy song. Life is perfect!

My worries, fears, apprehensions- all disappear. I will go with the rhythm; nothing beats a rainy Saturday without work!

cranberrists

Do you have to? Do you have to? Do you have to let it linger………..

WOW! As in like capital W-O-W!

Went to CRANBERRIES Live in Singapore concert two nights ago, and it took me by surprise.

Years passed and they’re the same powerful band. They’ve grown with time but the talent is so present, it feels like yesterday.

Dolores, the vocalist was familiar to me since I was 16 years old or lower. My cousin had a crush on her and would play Zommmmbiiieee almost everyday, and during that time, I am not into that song. I just felt it’s a lame song about the scary zombies (you know how things are for a teenager, if we don’t like it, we switch it) and then years passed, I seem to have that song as a remembrance of my childhood, so even though I didn’t liked it, I’ve grown to love it.

Anyway, the opening song was Dreams, it got us three- A, J and myself, really giddy. I shouted like a teenager in bloom. I kept singing while taking photos and videos of their performance.

I was transported to a new world when they sand Ode to my family, which by the way is my most favourite song from their album. I don’t know, that song, reminded me of my family each time. I haven’t really gone deeply with its lyrics, but it feels like I am speaking to them. I was super hyped; I had to stand when that song was played. If I hadn’t brought my 1 week old camera, I would really use my hands to emote more for the song. haha

Then new songs from their new album were played, it’s good but unfamiliar, so I took the time to observe the people around me. There were those going in solo. Imagine that?!

There’s this guy, I had my gaze on, and he was seated on a solo seat with the railings as his neighbour and an isle as his friend. He stood up for almost the whole duration (am not sure if he ever sat down). He just went clapping his hands, with his long-sleeved rolled to his elbows. Amazingly, he didn’t care at all. He sang loudly, and take note; he knows the lyrics of every song. He was relentless and goes along with the rhythm, dancing gently and eagerly participating. What a dude!

When Linger was played, we all stood, A and I were just jumping our hearts out while J was taking a video out from us. We were so giddy, we giggled and laughed. The feeling was so heavenly. I never cared, I just sang as if it was me who’s on stage.

We were like little girls who saw Barney or Barbie for the first time. We kept in standing and waving our hands up the air.

So now, Lady Gaga are you next??

Officially, I love concerts!!

wallflower

Good begets good. Passiveness begets what?

Yes, I think am heading to passivity rather than positivity. And the probability to be happy is totally slim. I became an introvert.

I can deal with people, yes. I can talk to them, yes. But these acts are all in moderation. When I don’t feel like talking to you, I won’t. I just keep silent and do my own thing, as if I have the most amazing world to attend to.

When I was younger, I have so many friends, I live to smile and make friends with people. I just like to be with people, I felt like I belong. I was kinda (duh) popular with friends in school, I am the jolly, energetic and most animated storyteller and joke-cracker. But few years later, I found myself maintaining just those I have, gaining few who would remain true. I choose friends.

I just quit trying to please people, especially here in Singapore. I find it hard to be associated to people whose commonality of interests doesn’t suit mine. I can talk, but I prefer not to.

What make this overseas life more challenging are the people you come in contact to everyday. I just don’t want to feel existent that’s all. I just want to be a camouflage, it doesn’t matter if you know me or not, as long as you don’t bug me.

Yes. That’s what’s happening with me. I think this has become a reverse maturity process. I thought, I’d open my shell more, expose myself to lots of people but it ends up, I’m still wrapped with my comfort people, unwilling to take risks in knowing others.

Why? I just don’t see the point, sometimes; people around you demand a lot from you. I admit, I have a problem about exclusivity.

I’ve got few friends because I don’t need lots to laugh at me when I fail. I don’t need lots for the sake of being friends. Lots of friends would mean lots of relationships to keep, and I cannot invest much time and effort for that. I am too lazy to be friends with anyone.

I know that by being passive, I am likened to a wall flower, existent but set aside for decoration. That’s all I’d ever be…