prexypinoy to the world

Sleepless. I went from sleeping the whole of Saturday afternoon to sleepless on Sunday evening. The wicked illness of Mama strikes again. Seriously, I can never get used to feeling really worried about her. I think that working too young takes a toll on her body and manifested now that she’s quite old. I am a daughter. I love my family more that anything else in this world. I love them all in the same intensity as I love myself. It worries me that I hear complains of pain and vomiting. I just couldn’t stop myself from thinking the worst. Please God. The sad fact about being a small family is that, there is only a few of you who worries about each other. The gravity of a concern maximizes in a manner that isolates all the other issues in life. My sister messaged me and told me she worries about Mama. She then told me that she is vomiting again and had fever last night. I was supposed to sleep early but I couldn’t just shake it off and prepare to bed. So I messaged h...

Dear Santa, I just miss you. I just miss what you represent and I miss every single one that reminds me of you. You see, I do see you a lot--- in buses, commercial ads and downtown posters but really, I just see you through my eyes and not in my heart. Please don’t get me wrong Santa. I still believe in you. It’s just that my daily life has been taking a toll on me and whenever I hear your songs or your signature laugh, I just cannot feel you that much anymore. Forgive me Santa as I am consumed by stress and work pressure, aggravated by the fact that I am now living in a foreign land where not many celebrates you. I miss you Santa. I miss the feeling that you brought me in my past Christmases. Please understand me for now Santa. I promise to make it up to you soonest. PS. I’ll still be expecting my gift wrapped in glittery ribbons. Thanks in advance. Love,

I am grateful for minor setbacks because it makes me realize major details of a relationship. Friendship is not an exemption. When I give, I give it all out. I do not hold back because I trust that the person is worthy enough of what I can offer. I do believe that I am the kind of friend who will be ready to dance in the rain with you. I don’t care if it involves the rain and FLOOD, as long as I promised to be with you, then, I will surely be there. When I give, I do not expect anything but loyalty. And yes, perhaps I expect that all the goodness will radiate into you too. But sadly, as much as I’d like it to be free-flowing and natural, sometimes, it reaches a point when one is not willing. Right then and there, I am brought to a major halt. Friends close, enemies closer. Do not trust too much on someone because at one point, betrayal is a curse. I am thankful though that these setbacks occur. It is for me to open my eyes and not to lose everything completely to the perso...

Dark. I looked around and I saw nothing but darkness. I am lying in bed chasing sleep. I am dead tired. My nerves are pulsing through; I can almost feel their scream rallying over my head. I tried to reposition myself, I should get some sleep. 1 AM. I saw the luminous clock beside my bed. Geez. It’s frustrating to know how I tried to go to bed early but ends up still awake in this unholy hour. Should I just get up? Maybe I can scribble some unfinished scripts or begin my abandoned diary. Perhaps, I’d just read. I’ll read until my eyes hurt and beg me to stop. But I cannot force myself to be up. I lay there motionless watching the pitch black ceiling as if I see something. I can hear my heartbeat drowned by the snore of my roomie. Ah, she’s dreaming by now. One of those rare nights that I am on her shoe while she’s on mine. I need to sleep. I tried counting the sheep. Closed my eyes and focused on black. I can go on and on. I heard a footstep. Then I heard the water fre...

TWENTY ONE. I can only smile at the thought. I am the giddy, enthusiastic and idealistic girl. I love how I prepped up for interviews, I love the attention. I love the thought that I am a young girl chasing her dreams, trying to make a difference in this huge world. It’s not that huge really. I love being who I am. I can brave it all and come running towards home whenever I want to. TWENTY TWO. I grinned at myself. There is nothing much difference. I now work in a bank. Have a source of income and spend much for myself. Savings? That’s not of the equation. I will travel whenever a promo shows itself. I will go wherever the path leads me. TWENTY THREE. Where are the guys at? I am beginning to think that I am a commodity for display. My travels take up most of my excitement, pretty much different from other girls my age. Smiling at the thought. TWENTY FOUR. For some weird reasons, I find myself, looking for more. What is on the other side of the world? When...

I’ve never been a fan of parents who tolerate their kids’ beck and call especially in the malls. I find it annoying for kids to go in tantrums whenever their wishes aren’t granted. For me, it’s the duty of the parents to let their kids learn the value of discipline. I think that every manner and right conduct is best enforced by parents because family is the basic unit in the society and all the values should be formed well in that small group. It irks me to see kids who go wild in malls especially when they are pointing stuff to buy for them. My parents were key disciplinarians in my time. I didn’t have the chance to even go wild because a mere pointing can subject me to my “hearing” later on. My mom would do her tiger look and I knew, right then and there that I cannot push it any further. I believe that whenever a child grows up to be a spoiled brat, during his/ her childhood, certain qualities show when he/she reaches adulthood. I do not think these qualities are out...