setbacks

I am grateful for minor setbacks because it makes me realize major details of a relationship. Friendship is not an exemption.

When I give, I give it all out. I do not hold back because I trust that the person is worthy enough of what I can offer. I do believe that I am the kind of friend who will be ready to dance in the rain with you. I don’t care if it involves the rain and FLOOD, as long as I promised to be with you, then, I will surely be there.

When I give, I do not expect anything but loyalty. And yes, perhaps I expect that all the goodness will radiate into you too. But sadly, as much as I’d like it to be free-flowing and natural, sometimes, it reaches a point when one is not willing.

Right then and there, I am brought to a major halt. Friends close, enemies closer. Do not trust too much on someone because at one point, betrayal is a curse. I am thankful though that these setbacks occur. It is for me to open my eyes and not to lose everything completely to the person I have grown to be closed to.

I do think that if I shall invest, I better invest it in my family rather than friends. Do not get me wrong. I love my friends but sometimes when you give so much, you empty yourself and you begin to wonder if any of it shall be returned back to you. And you won’t receive any. It makes you bitter.

I am reminded to take it slow. I am reminded that whatever I have, I shall not lose it in an instant just because one is too close or too concerned. There should still be that shaded part of you which shall envelope a mystery for them not to cross the line just because you are too good or too nice. A balance is good.

I don’t easily get mad. I don’t count what I’ve given; in fact, I do think giving makes me ultimately happy. But really, some people are just too good at receiving and are not willing to give back, especially to others. I do get frustrated when things don’t go out as I expect them to be but I will be okay sooner that one expects me to be.

I do forgive quite easily but I do not forget and it keeps playing on my mind like a broken record. I keep track of it. I think that when someone abuses kindness, that someone shall be dealt with accordingly. I am not mean but I could be.