self talking
Sept 5, 2017
I wrote for the first time in a long time because I feel so UNCOOL blurting it out on friends.
Honestly, I’ve been talking to friends lately about how I really feel and while it’s good, the downside can be appearing a bit more vulnerable. And I hate being vulnerable.
I have been thinking about quitting my job and just going along…
But at the same time, I fear being unemployed.
You know sometimes, this life is super ironic. You need to hear the noise to appreciate silence, be in a crowd of chaos to feel peace alone. Lose yourself to find it back again.
And the latter is what appeals to me.
And while I spend so many hapless moments thinking about what will become of me, if I got no stable income, no job to be busied about, jumping into unknown… I found one truth that comforts me. It is the truth that no matter what I give up on life, I will always, always have something better in return.
For example…
When I was in high school, I gave up being a CAT officer because I can’t take how physical it is for me. And when I gave it up, I came forward to be a Rover. And I had the grandest time. I was sent to other town for it and just experienced how it feels like.
In college, I gave up being in Engineering only to find myself in the business department, few years after, I was CHOSEN by Metrobank to be an intern. When I gave up Metrobank to try and risk it all in Singapore, singapore chose me.
In economics, I learned that this is “opportunity cost”, the loss of other alternatives when one alternative is chosen. In life, this is what decision making is all about.
I’d like to think that whatever is given up, something better will always replace it and rather than stressing about what I am giving up, or what others are to say, what defines me is my ability to stand strong in whatever decision I arrive at.
I’d like to look back life with less regrets, if not totally without it.
The greatest regret would be sticking into something just because you are comfortable with it or having the idea and means of doing something but opting not to because of fear.
I guess what they say is true, when you think with your Mind, chances are, things wouldn’t likely proceed… but when you think with your heart, you just go with it and wing whatever it is to come and that makes one vulnerable.
I wrote for the first time in a long time because I feel so UNCOOL blurting it out on friends.
Honestly, I’ve been talking to friends lately about how I really feel and while it’s good, the downside can be appearing a bit more vulnerable. And I hate being vulnerable.
I have been thinking about quitting my job and just going along…
But at the same time, I fear being unemployed.
You know sometimes, this life is super ironic. You need to hear the noise to appreciate silence, be in a crowd of chaos to feel peace alone. Lose yourself to find it back again.
And the latter is what appeals to me.
And while I spend so many hapless moments thinking about what will become of me, if I got no stable income, no job to be busied about, jumping into unknown… I found one truth that comforts me. It is the truth that no matter what I give up on life, I will always, always have something better in return.
For example…
When I was in high school, I gave up being a CAT officer because I can’t take how physical it is for me. And when I gave it up, I came forward to be a Rover. And I had the grandest time. I was sent to other town for it and just experienced how it feels like.
In college, I gave up being in Engineering only to find myself in the business department, few years after, I was CHOSEN by Metrobank to be an intern. When I gave up Metrobank to try and risk it all in Singapore, singapore chose me.
In economics, I learned that this is “opportunity cost”, the loss of other alternatives when one alternative is chosen. In life, this is what decision making is all about.
I’d like to think that whatever is given up, something better will always replace it and rather than stressing about what I am giving up, or what others are to say, what defines me is my ability to stand strong in whatever decision I arrive at.
I’d like to look back life with less regrets, if not totally without it.
The greatest regret would be sticking into something just because you are comfortable with it or having the idea and means of doing something but opting not to because of fear.
I guess what they say is true, when you think with your Mind, chances are, things wouldn’t likely proceed… but when you think with your heart, you just go with it and wing whatever it is to come and that makes one vulnerable.
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