menace

I’ve been in and out of discussion with my sister regarding parenting and each time, she’d think that I am not in the position to comment about it because I am not a parent.

While I agree that I am not a parent, I beg to disagree that I don’t have the right to say what’s on my mind about parenting. This is not to say that I am right and she’s wrong but I just want to voice out my opinion on what kids should learn these days and what not to. Regardless, it’s her discretion to listen or not.

On gadgets… we both think that gadgets disrupt a child’s creativity. Gadgets make them think that everything comes fast. Why, internet is so fast that videos in HD are streaming at full speed. Gone are those days when you wait for commercials in order to watch the 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th part of the whole episode. Gadgets buy time on a child’s attention but it also shortens their patience and sense of imagination.

On getting what they want… I do think that there is a time for everything. For me, no matter how we want to give everything to a child for their happiness, it isn’t right to spoil them. Travels for example, need not be in Disneyland but creating memories, spending time with them even in the most barren field in Samal will do. I’d love to think that parents are doing themselves a favour by not spoiling their children today because they will be teaching their children the value of gratitude and humility in the future.

On expressing their opinions… Kids are a lot smarter these days and I do get flustered in knowing that sometimes, they know more stuff than we do. But the smarter they become the more entitled they seem like. Someone told me, it’s cute when they correct adults about this and that, I do think that at some point, it really is, BUT… there’s a thin line between being all cute and disrespectful. Wouldn’t it be nice to listen to a child who is smart and humble at the same time? I do think, these two can go hand in hand pretty well.

If we tolerate children just because they’re cute and fascinating, they would think that they are right.

Later on, it will be too difficult to change. We seem to be missing the point that one day, we will die and we won’t live forever for the child. So rather than making it difficult for him later on, it is a must to teach him what he needs to learn at an early age.

My sister always tells me that my ideas are better said than done. Perhaps.

But I was raised by a tough mother whom I cannot control or manipulate. I was raised by both parents who not only gave me a mouthful of sermons every time I seem to forget my boundaries as a child but also a beltful, a sweepful, a rulerful of hittings for me to understand their point completely.

Sure parenting is hard, but a future menace to the society is harder to deal, don’t we think? 

on disagreements

You get this feeling of humility when you let others speak without interrupting.

During my younger days, I thought sharing your mind is the thing. I get this familiar bliss of knowing that I know a lot. I get high in thinking that somehow, I get ahead on information.

I get to be a know-it-all in my own right.

But nowadays, I think that more than contributing more in conversations by sharing my ideas, I am leaning towards listening in what others would want to say first. And whether or not it fits my own idea of a certain topic, I seem to care less.

I learned that we can agree to disagree or disagree to agree.

I don’t need to conform because sometimes, the thing about right or wrong,  it is subjective.

Rather than defending why I like WHITE more than Black, I understand now that there is no need for it. What I Like is purely mine and I own it. I don’t need anybody to agree with me.

I have come to accept that we are born in our own uniqueness. What is true to me may not be true to others. I don’t want to hush people on their opinions because it is what they believed in. In the same way that I am free to choose and air what I think is correct.

There is beauty in diversity and the only way to coexist is not to silence people but to learn how to choose what to listen and what not to. And ultimately, learn something from someone’s passion in a way that assimilate what is unique to me. Respect is the key to diversity.

invisible

Out of sight, out of mind.

I seem to be really getting the hang of it.

Remember when a good friend left SG recently?

Well, we’ve been very close. Skyping every day about everything.

When I’m upset, her line is always open to all my complaints, when I’m sad and feeling blue, she’d hear me out and give me advice. She was there, every single day, we chat our hearts out, having a reason to talk about every time.

Prior to her going back to PH for good, I was feeling really emotional.

I mean, who wouldn’t? I kept on thinking about having no one to share my struggles with on a daily basis. I kept on feeling burdened that I’d have to completely withdraw myself from her, because she will be having a new life and I don’t want to impose myself on her.

She promised me that we will keep in touch. Of course, I think so too. People are so connected nowadays with the innovation of technology.

However, I have come to realize, that although people change, the effect of the situation takes a toll on people more heavily.

We still contact each other from time to time. We still fool around on messages and see each other’s smiling faces on video calls.

But with not seeing her physically, and contacting not as often as we used to, I seem to share only stories with big impacts. I don’t have the time to whine about my job or my feelings in a certain situation anymore cause I might bore her out.

Out of sight… distance makes the heart go fonder. But it also creates a visible strife on relationships.

confident guy

“Lonely kasi pag walang girlfriend”

And I kept silent and tried my best not to think about it.

First, I appreciate the honesty but loneliness is not a good reason to be in a relationship.

I have been single practically all my life and loneliness is not unfamiliar to me.

But thinking that I need to be in a relationship because of it, just doesn’t feel right.

I believe that the only reason for me to be in a relationship is because I sincerely love and care that person.

I can’t take being in a relationship just for the sake of being conveniently called “taken”.

Honestly, I’ve never been taken not because I never intend to but because I believe that there is that someone who makes me consider changing my relationship status.

Perhaps for some, it comforts them to be in a relationship to give that sense of purpose or sense of belongingness but not in my case.

I truly believe that relationships are best when you enter it with the foundation of love.

Second, loneliness is a state of mind. I have never been lonelier as when I was here in the overseas.

When you go through tough times, it would be nice to have a person who cheers you on, no matter what. It would be nice to have someone who understands and completely trusts your decisions without dubious motives and countless questions, yeah?

But when you think about it, the feeling of loneliness worsens when you crave so much attention and affection. You can be with somebody and still feel royally f*cked because He’s too focused with his video games or night out with friends.

Loneliness is relative to mental state. The more you think about being lonely, the more lonely you become. The more you think about being content, even if you’re somehow empty, it fills in the void and makes you feel hopeful that one day all your desires will totally come true.

I kept quiet with these thought running in my mind. I don’t know whether it’s because of honesty or because someone wants me to think of him in a new light, but clearly, I am not impressed.

I would want someone who is sure about himself. I would want someone who is confident about what he likes in a girl and would actually go for it. Because honestly, when you say, you would want a girlfriend because you are lonely, it also translates to just having a girl, just anyone to take the role.

And who would want someone who thinks like that?

Seriously?

travel in budget

 I’m so spent up!

Normally, I’d travel during this month.

It’s like a culmination and a reward’s month for working so hard for the past year.

Much like graduation to students.

This year, I was planning to go to Canada because my visa will be expiring in October and it’s such a waste not to use it, (they might not give me a visa again, God forbid!) however, I was not given a leave to fly off and spend at least 2 weeks there. Too bad!

But when I think between flying to the US/ Canada and Europe, I don’t know why I’m much drawn to the latter. I think that there are so much to see in Europe and the experience will give me so much more memories.

When I was in my early 20s, Europe is that big cloud hanging above my head, all pearly and sparkling and I’m just an ant trying to store food, bit by bit, day by day. In saying so, you get the picture right? Europe is an impossible dream.

But by the end of my 20s, it seemed reachable. At 30, I was able to make it happen. And believe me when I say that it blew my mind. I’ve said this before and I’m saying it again (no matter how repetitious it may sound like) but Europe is bigger than life. I’ve never been so awestruck with places than when I was there. Every country I visited had something so charming about it. It was excruciatingly wonderful.

When I was there. I seemed to think about my life. My gratitude in being able to afford the trip and for not giving up during my greatest struggles, ‘cause if by then I have given up, I wouldn’t see and be mesmerize by the world presented to me at that moment. It solidified my idea of never giving up ‘cause someday it will be all worth it.

Anyway, I’m still trying to fit in my schedule and hopefully, I’d get to have some down time and travel. I am still thinking where to go. I added Turkey in the list when I saw a Korean tv show showcasing capadoccia and pamukkale. I added Budapest and Warsaw on my list too.

Waaahhh. I’m so excited to go wherever my feet lead me. But among all the travels, my next one will be the most budgeted one. I’ll probably scrap hotels and exy dining among others since I want to try backpacking with a cowboy attitude in my lifetime too!

Until then! Aja!

sooo lim!

So I watched a Korean show whereby K celebs are coupled together and would go through a “for show marriage” it’s called, We Got Married.

There’s this particular couple that I am so obsessed about.

The guy reminds me of a boy and a man at the same time. He’s very detailed, the diary detailed type. He’s into making bouquets, hands on in choosing couple shirts, bracelets etc. he brings in huge backpacks with wet tissues, umbrellas, towels and toiletries. he volunteers to cook, clean up and household chores for his wife. He even debones chicken wings and gives those to his wife to eat.

On the flip side, he’s into big motorcycles, the Harley Davidson bike types. He’s into motocross. He knows how to plant vegetables ‘cause he used to live in the countryside. He leads, more or less.

The girl on the other hand is active, intimidating and strong. She’s competitive and would bet on every game they played. She likes to drink and she’s not that organized. She’s caring if she wants to. She’s got some temper and unafraid to show it.

She is lovely and she knows it. She’s easily embarrassed to express affection. And would want to quietly say it. She can be energetic and deflated but she’s trying to be real.

Their combination is an explosion of chemistry.

The thing though is, the show was released in 2015 and I just found about it. 3 years after.

Haha

I enjoyed their banter and teasing. In the middle of the show, the girl had a dating scandal and had to meet with the guy to explain. She explained that her dating rumor is a rumor afterall as there is no truth to it. The guy accepted and believed in her and they proceed with the show as per usual.

My takeaway from this pair is that, sometimes, opposite people don’t necessarity clash. It’s like in construction… you can’t really glue parts if it’s both smooth, corrugated parts are glued strongly that the smooth ones.

Too bad though, I am soooo late of a fan!

Watching the show made me more cheerful. I now smile even before I sleep! What the….?! Haha

#solimforever

marry me, scaredy me.

There are days when I feel like I don’t want to get married at all and there are days when I feel like I need to rush to meet a good guy and marry asap.

And today I feel like the latter.

Blame it on the Royal Wedding!

My friend said, “Meghan is soooo damn lucky!”

I agreed but then it got me thinking, hey, her life will change BIG TIME.

It’s really not at all good if you think about it.

For one, although she’s an actress who seemed to be used to the limelight, she had days where she quietly jogs in the park and perhaps eat burritos on a bench without a care in the world. She had nights wherein she can freely go and be oblivious to the surrounding eyes ‘cause let’s face it, she’s not much of a paparrazied big time celeb.

With her marriage to a Prince of Wales, she’d be subjected to unending scrutiny. She’d have royal guards all over her and perhaps, be in her best look every time of the day. When you think about it, isn’t it pretty exhausting, restricting even?

But anyway, while watching the Royal wedding, it brought me to thinking whether I’d find a guy who’d look at me like Harry does to Meghan. I wondered whether I get the same jitters and glitters while I hide my face in my veil as I walk down the aisle. I wondered whether I get that peculiar sense of glow as I say “Hi”, when my groom meets me in the altar and he’d don a smile like that of a child who received his biggest gift. I wondered whether he’s held my hand as if to say, “you’ll never be alone again.”

For obvious reasons, I get so emotional.

It made me think about my own happy ever after. Will I ever--- Ever grace the altar with the same intensity as they did?! Or for that matter, will I ever, for the life of me, have a wedding?!

They say, marry for the right reason, and that reason being LOVE. I seem to be missing that point because I don’t think I truly loved someone with whom I can give up everything that I built my walls for. I don’t know why Love is so elusive and why I find it so hard to fall in love. Truth be told.

I’ve always been adamant to take my time and just chill when it comes to relationships. How much more when it comes to a lifetime commitment like marriage? I’ve always been fearful of committing because promises shouldn’t be broken and most often, I’ve seen more promises shattered than being sworn to. But really, I keep some hope in my pocket that my time will come.

Today, I feel like I’ve just wanted to meet someone whom I can tolerate. I feel like I want to meet someone whom I can bet my heart with and just stop thinking about where it leads me. I feel like I want to meet someone to whom I can be myself and showcase my quirks without hesitation.

Today, of all days, I wonder whether marriage is written on my palms…

And today, of all days, I said a little prayer for it.