personal space, yes?

I have previously stated that Grown Women should invest on a personal space. Personal space is an important issue that we should not hesitate to talk about. Sometimes, when we mention about having to live separately from our families, people feel as though we do not have a good relationship with them. That is not the case. Having a personal space is important for growth, for independence and for getting things done—your way.

Filipino Culture entails that only children who are married can go on their own. Unlike American Culture where they can separate at 18, grown men and women should think about having a personal space as early as they can. Here’s why:

1)    You will have to be responsible.

Whether you like it or not, you will be forced to grow up and do adulting stuff. You will pay monthly dues, property taxes, maintenance fees. There is no choice left for you but to comply your duties as the owner. And to comply that, you need a job, a source of income. It would defeat the purpose of living separately if you still get your rent from your parents.

2)    You will have your own pace.

Personally, how I do things is part of my system. I cannot sleep with lights on. I need a blackout curtain and a noiseless place. I can sometimes bring in soft jazz to calm my senses on a day’s work. These are just examples of how I live my life. Some people may not get why I want a blackout curtain when I can have slides or cute muslin curtains BUT I am the one living there, it follows what I want. In your personal space, you will live a life that is entirely your own so YOU DO Y-O-U.

3)    You will have your own rules.

You can NOT WASH your dishes if you want. You can retain your old muddy rug. But because it’s your house, you don’t want messy and dirty representation of your own self’s extension. You will have your own rules and you follow by them at your own discretion. You will have this space as your haven, the comfort in the rain. It is important that you surround yourself with things that you like.

There are a lot of other reasons why living separately from your family even if you are single is preferential. It might not be the case for everyone but if you are just like me, I bet you’d want one.

I want my personal space to be stress-free from unwanted people. I want it to be my dungeon, the space where I can completely take off my mask and just let things be as they are. I am a big believer that to live a simple life is to live it away from toxic surroundings.

The personal space may take time because it means to have money. It means commitment because you have to pay it regularly but think about the benefits you’d reap. The sense of peace and independence is truly tempting.

examinee

I will be taking a definitive exam on the last week of October and boy, I am so nervous.

It is an English Exam!

Previously, I am confident about my English skills but after being exposed to subpar English speaking people, I have stayed in character by speaking just like them. I am so worried that I am not using the proper context now.

The exam has WRITING. I said it before, I am passionate about writing but this exam makes me really rethink about that. There is READING, LISTENING and Speaking. I don’t know what to do but I hope I can make it with flying colors.

Serious mode begins today. Ok, Bye!!

truths about coming home for good

Moving back was not an easy decision. It took me years to finally say goodbye to the life that I made and have been living by. These are the lessons that I have learned in time. These are the hard truths about OFWs going back home.

Things I have learned after I moved back home:

1)    Appreciate kindness

I seem to take for granted simple joys like receiving a piece of chocolate from friends because I can afford to buy a box previously. I seem not to notice minute details of kindness before because I grew accustomed to grand displays of kindness like gifting a friend her favorite watch or contributing money to buy her most-eyed jewelry. But the more I have less, the more I appreciate acts of kindness. There is no big or small in any acts of kindness.

2)    Enjoy the little things

I appreciate a walk, fresh air fanning my face or even spending time in the arcade. I always thought traveling was my passion until I have less means to do so. I still like traveling to Paris or picnics in Seoul but I also like the beach, the road trips to Buda, the impromptu trip to Mati. I also like going for a night drive to San Pedro Street. It is a good idea to savor the moments while you have it.

3)    Spend quality time

I have not been around for few years and things have changed tremendously. The traffic, the unfamiliarity of people who pass me by, the frequency of the bad weather. Back then, there is none or less if I may say so. Being home reminded me that nothing lasts forever and so it is best to take in as much experiences as I can, be with my family and the friends that I cherish with to make up for the lost times.

4)    Save a lot

When you work overseas, you really have to save every dime. Be comfortable with having less or more money. The spending patterns should not change drastically. When I was in the overseas, I was a spendthrift with material things. My thought was I don’t own a house back home, so where would I put the material things that I accumulated? I spent on experiences because memories last unless I have an amnesia. If you have a house, make purchases that would last, it’s good as a future investment.

5)    Invest in your own personal space

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT. Coming home after being independent was a difficult process. My adjustment was suave but rough on the edges at times. As a grown woman, I don’t think it is a good idea to live with your family again. Do not get me wrong, I love my family and I am very close with them but personally, I am best to live alone because I want to live at my own pace. I have been living independently and I grew accustomed to my own rules and time, so when I came back, the people around me expected me to be the same me. I was not. I am more laidback and borderline lazy now, not the same energetic with raging hormones-kind of teenager. It is a difficult task to make people understand that I was not the same ME in terms of personal space and preferences.

There are more lessons that I have learned while being here. I feel as though I am back here with fresh eyes. There are some things that I cannot relate to, those trivial things that remain trivial because I do not WANT to care about them.

If I have an unsolicited advice to give, it would be: For single GROWN WOMEN like me, I would save up really hard before going home. I will buy my own house first and try to settle it before I come home. Make it a place entirely for myself, one that matches my personality best so that when I come home, I’d come home to same brand of personal space that I grew accustomed of in the overseas.

Coming home for good is never easy. Before you decide to come home for good, prepare yourself--- possibly for the worst: for the joblessness and most especially the financial difficulty. It is not easy to come home without MONEY or less money because your bank account will shrink over time inevitably.

Lastly, prepare your mental and emotional state, there will be hopelessness, withdrawal, denial or even depression. You won’t be earning much more than what you earned in the overseas. Or worst, you will have no means of income. You can also apply for a job here first before you come home. I wanted to rest for a year so I did not apply to anything at all until I was alarmed to see the decreasing digits on my bank account! (LOL) from then on, I took on online jobs. They don’t pay as much but at least it can supplement my other needs.

Most OFWs come home bongga until they bleed dry with nothing but old glory. Come home steadily. Calm as the morning breeze, I swear, you’ll bleed dry longer! :P