moving out
Realizations...
Everyday is a realization. One moment it hit me, the next it does again. Sometimes I begin to wonder, I think I'm thinking too much.
So here comes the fact that I am really interested to go abroad.
Perhaps, I could find a work there,live and settle. I don't know. I am really tempted to explore the world. It is within my reach. But what's stopping me is the thought of my parents. I mean, I could not just move out and transfer someplace else. My mom's health is unpredictable. Pop's with her. I feel that I am to stay beside them. I feel that I have the purpose to stick with them whatever happens.
The confusion is between my goals and sticking to home. I am young, If there's something young people do, it is to explore the world outside the box. Alright, I do have my share of those fair trips but what if I want to stay longer in such a place? I think I am compelled to just stay where I am right now.
The thought kills me because I want to be happy. It's not as if I am unhappy about things but I need to try it on my own. This may be a lame excuse and a fool's idea but I am not running away. What I want is to be independent. I want to know my limits and perhaps take full charge of my daily activities. This sounds rather absurd coming from a twenty three year old, but darn! that's what I want.
Anyway, I have made initial plans about it. I know it's never easy. But when will I try? When will i risk? When I am older? See, the clock is ticking. As much as I want to think that I am happy and contented with my career and the series of events in my life, I need to just dive. I need to try or I might end up with series of "what-ifs".
Sometimes I think that my mind is overused as it comes to realizations. Could it be possible to realize with your heart? Or boom, with the heart through the mind? Because If that's the case, both my mind and heart is overused. :/
Everyday is a realization. One moment it hit me, the next it does again. Sometimes I begin to wonder, I think I'm thinking too much.
So here comes the fact that I am really interested to go abroad.
Perhaps, I could find a work there,live and settle. I don't know. I am really tempted to explore the world. It is within my reach. But what's stopping me is the thought of my parents. I mean, I could not just move out and transfer someplace else. My mom's health is unpredictable. Pop's with her. I feel that I am to stay beside them. I feel that I have the purpose to stick with them whatever happens.
The confusion is between my goals and sticking to home. I am young, If there's something young people do, it is to explore the world outside the box. Alright, I do have my share of those fair trips but what if I want to stay longer in such a place? I think I am compelled to just stay where I am right now.
The thought kills me because I want to be happy. It's not as if I am unhappy about things but I need to try it on my own. This may be a lame excuse and a fool's idea but I am not running away. What I want is to be independent. I want to know my limits and perhaps take full charge of my daily activities. This sounds rather absurd coming from a twenty three year old, but darn! that's what I want.
Anyway, I have made initial plans about it. I know it's never easy. But when will I try? When will i risk? When I am older? See, the clock is ticking. As much as I want to think that I am happy and contented with my career and the series of events in my life, I need to just dive. I need to try or I might end up with series of "what-ifs".
Sometimes I think that my mind is overused as it comes to realizations. Could it be possible to realize with your heart? Or boom, with the heart through the mind? Because If that's the case, both my mind and heart is overused. :/
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