personal


Keribels?

Di talaga. Ouch! Ang sakit pala. Bakit naman kasi may pastalk-stalk pang nalalaman yan tuloy, instantaneous ang sakit. Parang di ko napaghandaan. Or maybe di talaga napaghahandaan ang selosang ganap.

My gaaaahd! I’m hating myself for crying over spilled milk na di akin. I really hate that I get to feel this way kahit bonggang measures na ang aking ginawa not to be involved. I’m quite confused if it’s my heart or if it’s my ego that is bleeding. Ouch.

I cannot dare share this thought in rounds of kwentuhan with friends ‘cause seriously, it’s pathetic and it makes me feel pathetic all the more. Loser na kung loser, kung pwede lang sanang magmove on ng agad agad…kaso hindi.

I don’t know. I feel as though di naman talaga ganun ka lalim or ka intense ang lahat but I still get senti. Why? I’ve asked numerous times but I can’t seem to find the answer. Sa dinami dami ba naman kasi dyan na pwede, dun pa talaga sa hindi na puwede. Spare me.

Anyway, as much as I’d like to go mukmok at mag sulk up sa sakit ng bumbunan or veins ng aking puso, I should not. I would not. I won’t allow myself. Dreadful. Tragic. It’s not the name of the game.

It’s about time to inject some anaesthesia sa aking puso. Corny. Pero really, ayoko nang makafeel ng ganito. Ang pinakamasakit, I get to see him smile while I’m dying inside. I know it’s a bit selfish but really annoying talaga. Bitter na kung bitter. (It’s my blog post anyway.)

Last night, di ako makatulog. I had a hard time sleeping with his face plastered in the talukap of my eyes. Grrrrr. Damn that guy for causing me sleepless nights (not once but a couple of times) Damn him ‘cause he’s not worth it.

Sabi nila. Para makalimot, isa sa mga stage is to find fault in him. Lahat ng pangit na makikita mo sa isang tao, imamagnify yan, so you can justify why you need to let him go. So allow me, ang pangit mo! (hoping I’ll get better after this)

Basta, bottomline is, di ko carry sa ngayon. Ang bigat. Ang hirap dalhin. Haaaay. Stay away from me. Please release me from your memories, please release me from your ghost and please let me go from your shadows. 

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