fallen angel

I see you. Don't look behind or sideways, I am talking to you!

Yes, you!

For how many times have you tried not to show it? For how long have you kept your face? For why do you love the dark?

You won’t believe it, but I know you. I saw you. I dreamt of you. I had the most vivid flashbacks I could ever have of you. So here’s what I think you are…

When you think you can bear it all, you are ready to go through the odds. It’s painful but you chose to keep it to yourself and pretend it’s always sunny in your side of the world. People would think you never had any experience of any pain ordinary lovers go through but what they don’t know is that, you smile the fakest smile to hide the pain and broken wings.

You put on your greatest weapon, a façade of happiness. You thought everything will be better. You live each day hoping for a better tomorrow, that somehow, someday, things may change and you will be put in the pedestal. It’s like being a struggling actor, you do your part, you take on small roles, pretend to love the lousy acting of your co-actors but deep inside, you want someone to notice you as much as they notice the big ones. You continue to hope that one day someone will see you and give you a break to star in something more challenging, bigger and in most coveted role.

People tell you, you know nothing. For how can someone who is as inexperienced as you are know how it feels like to be hurt like you’ve never been hurt all your life? Silly ones. Who are they to judge you like they know you since you’re born? You smile at the thought. They shouldn’t know. You grin and they continued to believe.

So today you’re here. Unmoved by circumstances. You’re here with your funniest jokes, happiest face and infectious smile. You’re here as though you are as complete as A-Z. You’re here as though your soul has never withered. You’re here hiding your dirtied wings. You’re here pretending. You’re here.