over you


Done!

So after a year and so of not talking, you messaged me and asked me how I was. Quite frankly, I was surprised. I was surprised that after all these years, you still remember me.

It would be a lie to deny that somehow I was happy that you made the first move because seriously, I PROMISED myself that I would never ever talk to you again. At least not the way we used to. You might say I’m bitter, I am not. I just don’t like to be involved. I swear it would be so much easy for me to just be out of the picture.

I am not bitter although I first thought I was. Considering all the blows it caused my ego, I feel I have the right to be bitter. Good thing, sense won over me. I thought I’d bleed profusely out from this, I did but not as much as I expected to.

My good friends were polite enough not to talk about it. It helped me mend. It helped me face my demons as brave as I was. I just didn’t want for people to press on the issue. From the very start, it’s personal and so it should remain personal till the end.

Your message struck me. I have blocked all access in my attempt to be out of the picture. I just feel it isn’t right to keep you in my contacts or have myself updated with everything that goes into your life. I was never a part of it.

Don’t blame me. Sometimes, the best way to be safe and dry is to never go out of the house at all. I just can’t see the point of me talking to you as if things never happened. Yeah, you would say, you were never at fault. And I am not at fault to protect myself either.

The story of me and you ( oh wait, just me) is one of my life’s tragedies. It’s a story of something Unrequited, a story that I am recovering from. These days, I only can smile at the thought of it. Someday, I’ll remember this and tell it to my grandkids and it will be a hearty laugh.

You bet, I am a giver. My kind nature would not allow seeing you hurting. My kind nature wouldn’t allow seeing your heart break. After all, we only live once. I want you to live once but Happy.
                    
This is my final goodbye, my friend. No bitterness. No heartache. I’m fine. I’ll have my chance. I hope you two have the best of what you deserve. Sweet life! J



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