same side


Damn!

Here I am again in the same side of things, the losing end. I am writing to clear off my mind as whatever I do, I can still think of you.

I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. I guess I have to go through it all again for me to learn how to be numb. I guess the pain doubled. I guess I have to learn not to trust enough. No matter how I protected myself, it’s still the same pattern, I’m hurt and no one’s gonna fix this mess but myself.

I should’ve listened. From the very start, I know there’s no point to it. I laid down the cards and I predicted how it will end. I am right, it ends like this. How can I not know? I am the chosen one, the loser, the bitter; the one who takes all the pain and only God knows how much I can take. Stubborn as I was, I want to challenge the circumstances, I still gave in, I still continued so now, I have no one to blame but my overly adventurous self.

You won’t see me cry. You won’t see me sad. I should not show it. I will be in the upper east, maintaining my sunshine. There’s nobody who can break me.

Now, I just have to concentrate on my routine. I will not pretend but I will not disclose. Life goes on. There are just so many you and only one me. I won’t let my hopes down just because of you.


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