my hands

Believe in yourself.

I always look at people with so much positivity and I hope to emulate it from them.

I am surrounded by people who are either desperate or anxious about getting ahead in life and with that, I feel the pressure to keep up as well. It’s like I am queueing for something which I am not so sure what is it about but I keep queueing because I don’t want to fall last, anyway.

Then I had quite a time for reflection and thought that maybe, I’m super conscious with keeping up with everyone that I lose sight of what I really wanted to pursue. Becoming safe by riding the tide with everyone else is good but in the long run, I don’t want to look back and say that I’ve wasted my time chasing something that did not really have a meaning to me.

It’s like I’m ordering a luxury bag. It is so trendy and I’m getting excited about it just because I would have it like everyone else but not really because I am not into it in the first place.

I realized that I need to find and pursue something that I am passionate about. Because in that way, I’d find my purpose, the meaning why I do things the way they are, and in the process, it will let me grow as a person with direction, and with that, I will be satisfied.

I want to be positive in my dealings with various turmoil, with long pauses that seemed like it’s the end, in the darkness that tries to blind me as if there’s no light. I want to have the hope that life will bring me to a greater high, and feel secured that I will see it through the end, no matter what.

I may not take the same route as everyone else and it may take longer than others, but I’d like to believe that I will get there eventually. And I have to keep my faith to make it happen.

Believe in yourself.