selectively strange
Every one of us has this certain story of how we introduced
ourselves to what later become our friends, right? And mine is not different. Not
at all.
Seven years ago, I came to Singapore with nothing but guts
and hope to back me up. I didn’t have lots of money or amazing work experience.
No friends either. (other than the ones who came with me)
I came to an office made up of a small group of staff. The one
who trained me, was well, she’s nice but rough. She taught me fast and I need
to absorb it as quick as she talks. She would scold me and I would feel so
ashamed for never have I been treated like that in my entire life, especially
in a workplace. But I think everyone goes through that phase, I’m no different.
At school, I am focused and I studied hard. I was never the
type who would skip class or sleep in it.
I was a teacher’s pet, a friendly classmate, the group
leader, the class president. Modesty aside, I was hired even before I graduated!
haha
In my new workplace, I knew how small the company was. When I
joined, it was a year old. I knew my chances for promotions were slim and my
progress, rather slow. But I needed a job. I needed to experience how it is
working abroad and living in it. I forecasted two years max before calling it
quits.
I was a fresh employee with undeterred work ethics. When my
colleagues go out for a cigarette break, I stayed in and attend to their phone
calls. I hated to be late and I’d feel so guilty whenever I come late due to a
train fault. (and fyi, train faults were rare) And although I was friendly, I was
distant.
I welcomed people but I never wanted to act too eager. I liked
hanging out with colleagues but I never wanted to feel left behind. I hate
feeling left out.
My first colleagues were people with thick Chinese accent.
No offense, but I always feel like I don’t belong with them because I can’t
understand a thing about what they say. I liked them but not enough to hang out
with them outside work. You can call me semi-social.
When they left, a group of guys came. These guys were cool
but always busy. They’d invite me in for housewarming or gatherings outside of
work and during that time, I promised myself not to be so selective about it,
so I managed to go to some of these gatherings. I remain friendly but still distant.
Eventually the guys left and a new batch joined in. They have
strong personalities. They yell and cursed a lot. One throws tantrums and when
she does, she doesn’t bother talking the whole day at all. The other one was like
a dormant volcano. She’s literally dormant. Silent but when someone pisses her
off, she’d erupt like it’s nobody’s business. The third one was plain crazy. She’d
disturb you for nonsense, and even talk about her sex life aloud. I find her
strange. This bunch was rather strange.
But among all the batches that I witnessed, I connected with
the strange bunch more. Working with them was not easy but they didn’t make my
life difficult either. I found out that they’re just open and honest about how
they truly feel. When they’re mad, they’re mad. When they’re happy, they’re
happy.
I found out that they are what they are. REAL. And before I knew
it, I was changing my ways as well.
In my fifth year, I have been slowly opening up. I don’t don
my poker face as much as I did. I have thrown jokes and show part of who I am
outside office. I have gone to after-office dinners with them not because I forced
myself but because I sincerely liked hanging out with them.
Looking back, it took me five years to warm up to everyone
from work. And maybe, when I leave this country, I’d gladly recall the memories
that I have gained from my process. It sure does feel like I’m Elsa now,
empowered because I don’t need to hide. Haha
I was the girl who has her own world for them before. (I still
am now, I think.)
I introduced myself as a professional who does business in a
no-nonsense attitude but I guess when you become a bit comfortable, it’ll show
that the one wearing the suit and high heels is actually just a minion who
still watches Kimpossible and gets high recalling Lupin III.haha
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