SG: take a step

Why do we cry when we say goodbye?

Goodbyes are the hardest not because everything changes as the person leaves, but because CHANGE is in itself, scary.

This April, I have three friends who packed up their SG life. While I tried so hard to maintain composure, it saddens me that the people I am attached to are slowly getting fewer as the days go by. T_T
(Believe me when I say that I am not this sentimental when I was younger. Iba na ang nagkakaedad.)

Packing up your SG life means leaving your job, your home for the last few years, your new comfort zone and completely starting over again—back home or someplace else. I don’t know if Pinoys who work in SG agree with me when I say that, the moment you decide to work in SG is the moment you know that SG is the “means to an end”.

SG is promising as it allows you to have a better income and it is strategic enough to let you scoot anywhere in the world because it is the best travel hub with the most amazing airport. To most of us, we grew accustomed to how efficient everything works here. From GOVT AGENCIES that wait no one to food court helps who take your dishes the moment you lay your crockeries flat. Not to mention the value of time, everyone seems to follow ruthlessly, from 3-minute MRT intervals to “within the day” processing times to your let’s say, internet connection complaints. (it's rare, btw)
 
While SG is that amazing boat-like structure erected at the center of a bay (middle of the water, can you believe it?!) , living here NOW does not guarantee living here few years FROM NOW. Solely because, PR status is so hard to get. (I know, ‘cause I’ve tried twice and failed twice. :D) No matter how long you stay, it just won’t cut it.

My friends leaving, made me revisit my original intentions about coming to SG for the first time.
It made me think about my own plans (or lack thereof). I’ve never really had grand plans. I just go with the flow. The changes that consume me for the past 7 years, brought me to new heights and new lows.

What I think is this:
“We all follow a path, every one uniquely designed since before we were born.”

Goodbyes are hard, because memories get in the way. When my friend and I met for brunch for the last time in SG, the inordinate amount of flashbacks came over me… the birthdays, the Christmases, those tough times that we both received consolation from each other over a serious heart-to-heart talk, the spontaneous meetups to celebrate minute details such as winning a bet of who’s who, or even a casual chitchat that starts from pre-dinner to 5 in the morning. Those precious memories we shared and the time that we can never bring back. If not for my promise not to cry, I’d bawl my eyes out! (and no, I’m not even a cry baby!)

But with goodbyes comes the opportunity to show gratitude. To show just how someone means to us and just how much we’re gonna miss their presence when they leave. With goodbyes, comes realizing that they are just trekking their own path forward and someday, somewhere our paths will cross again.

Admitting, goodbyes are game-changers. They shape up who we are. Remind us who we want to become and ultimately, make us realize to cherish the limited time we all have.

Everything changes and nothing remains.


Except memories.

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