Note to self

Attached.

My greatest challenge in this whole journey is to be complete as it is. To have a sense of security from within. To be self- sufficient. To be independent.

Very strong words that involve a lot of SELF. Na realize kong In order to conquer this quest. I must develop a sense of confidence na kaya ko kahit ako lang mag isa. Ang nangyayari kasi, I get to be attached with someone na parang na depend na sa kanya yung happiness ko. Mali yun. Maling gameplan pag ganito yung lifestyle.

When living and working abroad, dapat talaga yung SELF buo as it is. Yung secure sya na kahit anung mangyari, every single cell in the body is well. Every detail ng personality intact. Every minute part of the mind and heart andun. Di pwedeng nakasalalay sa iba. Di pwedeng maging maligaya kasi may kasama. Dapat kahit nag-iisa, Masaya.

Narealize kong when you get so close with someone tapos always kayong magkasama, it builds a certain pact na di din madaling kalimutan, masasanay ka sa presence nya and most often than not, mas at ease ka pag anjan sya. Good thing naman yun diba? Kasi no man is an island. But for the likes of me, ang hirap pag dumarating sa stage na aalis na sya at kelangan mong mag let go.

Let go kasi wala kang choice. Buhay nya yun, may buhay ka din. Let go kasi dun sya Masaya. Let go kasi a good friend supports kung anuman ang decision ng isa. Let go kasi letting go is a learning experience for you too.

But guess what, ayoko na ako yung naiiwan or iniiwanan. Matagal akong makarecover. Mahirap ipagpatuloy kung hanggang saan. Basta, ang sad lang. Pero siguro yun na nga, through this experience, gaano man kahirap, always ipinaaalala sa atin na life goes on. That everything happens for a reason. Ganun.


So gaano man kabigat, that’s just how it is. It’s part of the challenge. To develop a self na di nakadepende sa iba, na parang bangkang pilit paring lumalaban gaano kaharsh ang waves at kaheavy ng rain at hangin.

Note to self: Be strong, keep calm and for the go! :))))