on freeing myself


I don’t want to go on blindly following the queue without really knowing what I’m queuing for.

I just kind of feel suffocated trying to fit in the mold that I made for myself and it does not bring me the satisfaction that I hoped for. I don't want to be tied down to the shackles that instead of contributing for my growth, gave me NO freedom to do what I want. 

Truth be told, I don’t want to endure anymore. I am done.
I want to set myself free from my own expectations.
And although my dream is a huge thing, that is why I am here, trying to make things work, I do believe that apart from this, I can make hundred other dreams more.

I won’t push myself too hard anymore because I’ve done it so much, I lost myself in the process. I won’t try so damn hard where I know it only pains me.

It’s okay. I can let go.

Whenever I imagine my life after… I can’t help but feel the fear of nothingness.
However, Fear is a result of lack of faith.

So while my mind creates terrible scenarios, I’ll close my eyes and listen to my heart.
I bow down in surrender, I’m taking off from the wheel and let God do the rest for me.
Aja!

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