prexypinoy to the world

Dear Draco Malfoy, Whenever I think of you, I really hoped that you think of me too. There were times when I still cannot believe that we are all growups now, like I still cannot believe that Harry and Ginny ended up together. I wished I had Dumbledore’s pensieve and that I can see the memories as a third person. Why? Because I wanted to see how you reacted when I was dying of giddiness for you. I wanted to see if it was just me or if it was indeed mutual. Loose ends. I just don’t understand why you keep visiting me in my dreams when I became so strict with myself not to see you again. It is commendable how I tried to forget you, cutting all the means of communication, turning deaf to Every info I can possibly hear pertaining to you. I mean, I don’t get it. Why can’t you just vanish? Why do I have moments that I think of you. This is foolish. Unacceptable. I wish to not see you again ever, in person and in my dreams. Do me a favour, do not EVER cross...

Last day of work for 2017 happens today! Yay!!! 2017 has been blissful and worth remembering. I opened it with a heart that was pained but gradually, the anger has been taken over by pure love of family. 2017 has enabled me to spend more time with people who matter. I refused to be associated with “negaminds” and just focus with positivity. I am grateful that I have been given a chance to enjoy Europe. It has been a dream and kicking it off from the bucket feels so good. I’d love to come back though :P I am thankful to people who stood by me and stood up for me. I am greatly indebted to the kindness that has been showered upon me and I look forward to paying it forward. Although some dreams hasn’t been granted in 2017 yet, I still dream earnestly and pray harder that 2018 will be the year for it. Thank you 2017, you were awesome!! With love,

I have always known that I am a late bloomer. I’m probably the last girl in class to learn a dance step and master it after all have rested. I’m probably the last one who appreciates Star wars now that it’s on its Nth episode. (I seriously don’t know who Luke sky walker was and his contribution to the world that they’re living in.) I’m probably the last one who enjoyed carbonara just because I was loyal with red sauce pasta. And yes, I’m probably the last girl who falls in love… Believe me when I say that I have never ever cried out from a heartbreak. And I never have truly fallen in love either. Someone asked me why I never had a relationship and tell you what, I have never fathomed the answer to it before. Not until recently… I realized that ever since, my goals were always centred to myself. It’s more about pursuing my dreams and chasing opportunities. I’ve had romantic experiences but none really succeeded because I thought, they’re in for nothing but...

All those prayers about winning the HK DISNEYLAND PRIZE in a raffle at CENTRAL WAREHOUSE CLUB when I was 9 come to me like a thunderbolt.   WHEN I THINK OF HONGKONG …   I get this familiar tinge of excitement. I feel the giddiness that envelops me when my sister screamed, “we’re booked!” I was 21 then. It was my first overseas trip. It was a trip that I financed fully after being employed right after graduation. Yes, it was a reward to self, you see. I can vividly remember that night when we spent some time trying to access CEBU PACIFIC AIR website, as they offered a PESO SALE. We tried several times before being confirmed and it was the sweetest, most glorifying moment ever! I mean, I used to hear it when artistas say “oh, nagkita kami sa hong kong” or when a classmate says “yes, sa HK Disneyland kami mag ki-Christmas”. Wow! I mean, how I wish I have the power to do that too. Arriving in HONGKONG was every bit of a dream come true. Those ...

1131pm He’s very nocturnal, I see. But I know I’m gonna regret the next morning. I bid him good bye as I need to sleep. He replied four consecutive messages , I wanted to ignore and just reply the next morning, but I’m too curious what he wanted to say. I read, he said, goodnight and sweet dreams and two other texts basically mean the same thing. I couldn’t resist to reply, sweet dreams as well. He messaged again, I managed to ignore. I’ll read the next morning, alright? 1145pm My heart is beating so fast. I shut my eyes tight but I can’t seem to shut my mind. For some reason, something is bothering me. I went to pee. 12am I began to hate myself. I should’ve tried sleeping at 1030pm to make some leeway. My roommate is still busy with her phone and the movements, even the slightest noise and vibration, I can feel it. I grew sensitive to movements as I loathe my mind from thinking too much. 1210am I counted sheeps. I am tempted to get ...

I am writing this on a HAPPY NOTE. I have noticed that when I speak out about my thoughts, it leans back to a negative connotation. Maybe because, most of my thoughts concern so much about how I feel. The more I think and talk about how I feel, the worse it becomes so I made an experiment. I have to. I vowed not to think about how I feel and try to overanalyse things as if my problems look like a frog to be dissected. And quite honestly, this approach works for me. How to do it? 1)       Things/ people/ situations that provoke you into thinking or even comparing yourself to it, A-V-O-I-D. Get away from it. Take for example, stalking at your ex’s profile or simply trying to be nosy about your friend’s love life. Quit it. Focus your mind to a reality that completely belongs to you--- YOUR OWN LIFE. 2)       Explore your skills/ passion. If you like making origamis or replanting your own succulents, go ahead...

“We appreciate you taking time to submit your application, however, we regret to inform you that…” I know how this letter ends and truth be told, I was kinda expecting this rejection again. I was just bold enough to try again and maybe, a miracle will come forth to me, who knows? Weirdly enough, I feel the calmness of my inner spirit. As I do not have to wait anxiously for the result anymore and that, there will be no more what ifs. I have gone through this before, and as much as I would like to succeed, it just isn’t for me… JUST YET. In my life, I have face many rejections and have witnessed so many doors closing in front of my face. I have gone through hardships and tough times that left me in the dark for a period of time. But guess what? Amidst it all, I am grateful. I am grateful to have experienced bumps along the way ‘cause I know now how to appreciate plains. And most importantly, I  am thankful enough that among the many, it was  I who were...

When I think about Paris… I can still recall the feeling of alighting in Trocadero and climbing the stairs to have the magnificent view that the Eiffel was. It was my first night in Paris and it was windy at 6pm. There were so many people in that specific area, kids, couples, elders and people like me. Some may be locals bringing their tourist friends and most are tourists, just finding their way and making time to marvel at the scenery. From end to end, people are taking pictures, chatting, laughing. I stood there in awe. I almost pinch my arm, I still can’t believe I was there. You see, I used to just fantasize about being in Paris. Who wouldn’t? I used to watch “Lovers in Paris” and really love the idea that I’d be able to find love in Paris just like Vivian haha Then here comes, “KC loves Paris”, whereby she showcased a glimpse of her life while studying in Paris. I loved it even more when I saw “Midnight in Paris” and all the movies and events Paris ha...

There’s no greater thing than to be a MITA! The thing about being an aunt is having the ability to be this cool person. In their eyes, I am free spirited. Someone who is able to do the things she wanted to do. In their eyes, I am the neutral ground. When their mom scolds them or even lays a hand on them, I am the poste for whom they can seek refuge to. I am invincible. Their mom can’t touch me, I have that sort of power. To them, I am neither Cinderella nor wonderwoman… I am me. I am their aunt, I have power just being me. Or not? Haha. I love being an aunt because I love my nephews. I love how they talk, how they are so sweet and smart at the same time. I love how they do anything to get what they want. I love their youth, their energy and lack thereof, at times. I often wonder, when I was a kid, I was a dumb one. A candy can bribe me, but them? It takes a lot of convincing because they really know what they want. Sometimes I think about them bei...

Yes to adventures!! I agreed to go with my colleagues, over the weekend to Bintan. It’s my second time to go to overseas with them so why not? I have established early on that my goal in the coming years is to make more memories. No matter who I’m with. I’m usually very cautious as to who I associate with but I think experiencing a lot of these things will help me grow. As a social individual, putting myself out there, is beneficial to how I want to continue with the journey through life. You get to have more ideas, know more people and spend time with others. And guess what? I enjoyed ATV-ing in the Indonesian forest. It was such a thrill to go full throttle only to end up bumping someone. Haha And it was not that easy of a trek at all, there were more downhills than plains thus, I love the challenge! I brought my brand new stabilizer and tested it out on the bumpy UTV rides that got my feet really muddy as my boss’ passenger! It was one hell of a ri...

I’ve come to a new goal… At 30, I feel like I need to pursue something else. Something that excites me, something that makes time go by so fast, Something that creates an impact within me, something that makes me look forward to days ahead. Sadly, that something isn’t what I am doing now. Early on, I know I need to be in the creative field. Wherein I use my hands in sync with my mind with a clear vision for an output. Much like a sculpture that I mould as the picture of it crosses my mind so often. Much like the lyrics of a song I can sing even without drums. Much like the executable program that I so expertly know. All because, I made them. I know for sure that as an employee, I am an asset. I work without stopping with or without a deadline. I try to help in the process of arriving to a certain destination where profit is always higher than the cost. Well, they’ve told me, I am a disciplined employee. But I am not the best at what I do. I have...

What?!i have been writing in this blog since 2008?!? So next years’ gonna be my 10 th ?! Wow! How time flies. Writing is a hobby where I subconsciously vents out my frustrations, anger, the things I can never say and of course, share my fascination, excitement and happiness! In here, I feel free to express my opinion and ideas. In here, I always feel like I have a documentation of the things I did, the feelings I felt, the life I lived—so far. In writing, I don’t feel like I need to please anyone and just go with what I want to say. In reality, I used to be bubbly to the point of tactlessness, but maturity happens and I found myself writing more than speaking. As I go through my earliest blog posts, I realized how revolutionary writing is as it serves as the timeline of my life. I read about my past misery as if it was the biggest problem of the universe, I read about my ever changing mood that this blog so randomly captures. 9 years, baby!! That’s li...

I’m leaving for HK in 2 weeks… and hell yeah!! I am excited! I am excited to meet my family there and spend some quality time. It is special since the beloved nephews are coming. OMG! I just can’t hide my excitement as I may have to tighten my belt as I chase these two while They make their way to kiss Mickey and Minnie! In 2010, my family visited HK and we had the grandest time. It is my dream to bring them again there for a vacation. What’s more exciting is having the “faceoff” with my best girls who happens to be my mum and sis. Our ootd labanan will commence. The sis and I made a bet, we should lose weight and whoever wins will get 100 USD from the other. Waaah… well, I can see, she’s trying really hard. I can’t lose. I hate losing!!! Lol Geez! What am I gonna wear? I wish it’s cold enough for my long cardigans… I wanted to wear some boots, but hell no, it’s not even snowing! Till then, I’m gonna update HK post soon J

The truest person next to you would be a sister. I have triumphed so many hurdles in my life because I knew I was not alone. I can go on pursuing my dreams with no guarantee of succeeding because I know someone will always have my back. I can try so many things without having to worry because I will always have a home to come home to. I am blessed. I am blessed enough to have the chance to go out to the world and chase ever-changing horizons because no matter what, there will always be someone to back me up. It doesn’t even matter if I win or lose, what matters is I tried. In my many attempts to go after what I want, I failed countless of times. People have the tendency to mock people who fail at something as if they know better. But in my failures, I have gained so much more PERHAPS more than if I succeeded. In my failures, I have learned to stand up, to dust it all off and attempt climbing again. I know I have not arrived at my destination yet, but in the...

“I worry about you” , says my sister who seem to have the biggest worry on Earth and it’s about me. “Worry about yourself”, I countered. I obviously know how my family is reacting to my being single. They worry about me getting unhitched for the rest of my life. Tell you what, I have the same worry too especially before I reach 30. I mean, all my colleagues are hitched, or okay there’s probably 1 in the office who is as unhitched as I am but she’s got a steady boyfriend perhaps waiting for the right time to propose… Most of my closest friends are either married or super moms… Most of my batchmates are in the same boat as my closest friends… generally, majority of the people I come in contact with are married or engaged. At one point, I had felt a bit left out. I got scared of the idea of not being able to be married at all, and having no children whatsoever… It took me a lot of effort to persist in thinking about only the positive and focusing more on myself. T...

What depression feels like? Your body wants to succumb to sleep yet your mind is actively participating in the war of thoughts. The nights become longer and you keep trying to sleep but the more you try, the more reluctant sleep becomes. You spend your days trying to align what needs to be done first yet your train of thoughts disturb you in a way that you are unable to function. Action plus war in the mind can be very tiring. You find yourself in total abandon. Halting activities, cornering yourself, in the hope that you can figure it out on your own. You sigh in worry as the demons keep getting stronger. You try to reach out to a friend, but she does not get it. You try to put it out there hoping to get a favourable response from anyone who might be able to get where you are in, but again, they all say the same. They do not understand. Y ou appeal a bit more but it’s all the same until you cement the thought, nobody will understand. It’s the thought that no...

Ever been to a place where you thought, you are too blessed to be there? I have and it’s already countless of times. But one place struck me the most, because in there, I saw a vision of my not-so-distant future. In there I saw a vision that makes me happy the most and just thinking about it brings me to a new high, a sweet one. In there I saw a vision of satisfaction and only Florence can give me that. Believe me, I fell in love with the place the moment I arrived. If you are into various forms of arts, it might just be the best place for you. I love the arts and I enjoyed a handful of museums across the city. I enjoyed walking Ponte Vecchio and marveled at Statue of David while listening to some acoustic busking in a corner. I love the mix of tranquility as I gaze towards the horizon and the sun sets painting the sky in perfect hues. I love that I was there doing something favorable to my soul. It dawned upon me, I wish I’d have a kid who excel in the arts and I’d ...