will be there
Lost.
The thing that I am so afraid of. Yeah well, I am afraid to go back home and feel lost more than ever. The plans, the experience, the life in general, is too heavy to manage.
But even then, I am not a quitter. I fight for what I deserve. I fight for what I worked hard. It’s not as if I just come home and forget everything or say, “Fuck it, I should be home.”--- No, not yet. (tempting as it may sound) Now is not yet the right time.
Before this adventure started, I’ve sort out the pros and cons of this whole thing. My financial, my emotional, my spiritual, I was able to conjure ideas and thought this adventure is worth the sacrifices. But seriously, even though I thought about feeling lost after this, I never really considered it until now.
I am afraid that my life would not turn out as I expected. Although, I know that I am not capable of destroying it, (and is too scared to try things that destroy it) I am afraid to go without direction.
That’s the time when I come to a point of finding a place in this world where my abilities shine and where my personality enhances. I am afraid that I may not get the chance to have another job, as good as the previous and as challenging as the current.
So when I get home, I need to at least be into something that hypes me up just the same. I have people who need my support and I can not afford to f*ck this adventure up out of whims and few of my caprices. It’s high time to look deeper and to learn how to endure no matter how harsh the winds are.
And as long as my sail stands tall, My God bigger than the strongest of waves, the harshest of winds will guide me to my destination.
Are we there yet? No, I know for sure that I might be lost at this moment, the means might take a fuss, but I know my end, this “lost feeling” is momentary and I will be there… soon!
The thing that I am so afraid of. Yeah well, I am afraid to go back home and feel lost more than ever. The plans, the experience, the life in general, is too heavy to manage.
But even then, I am not a quitter. I fight for what I deserve. I fight for what I worked hard. It’s not as if I just come home and forget everything or say, “Fuck it, I should be home.”--- No, not yet. (tempting as it may sound) Now is not yet the right time.
Before this adventure started, I’ve sort out the pros and cons of this whole thing. My financial, my emotional, my spiritual, I was able to conjure ideas and thought this adventure is worth the sacrifices. But seriously, even though I thought about feeling lost after this, I never really considered it until now.
I am afraid that my life would not turn out as I expected. Although, I know that I am not capable of destroying it, (and is too scared to try things that destroy it) I am afraid to go without direction.
That’s the time when I come to a point of finding a place in this world where my abilities shine and where my personality enhances. I am afraid that I may not get the chance to have another job, as good as the previous and as challenging as the current.
So when I get home, I need to at least be into something that hypes me up just the same. I have people who need my support and I can not afford to f*ck this adventure up out of whims and few of my caprices. It’s high time to look deeper and to learn how to endure no matter how harsh the winds are.
And as long as my sail stands tall, My God bigger than the strongest of waves, the harshest of winds will guide me to my destination.
Are we there yet? No, I know for sure that I might be lost at this moment, the means might take a fuss, but I know my end, this “lost feeling” is momentary and I will be there… soon!
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