prexypinoy to the world

Terrorist. Sometimes talaga may mga taong kung mangterrorize sa iba, akala nila sila lang ang magaling. Minsan, sobrang nakaka sad lang kasi yung taong tineterrorize nila, hindi nalang umiimik para walalng gulo, walang problema. To maintain the harmony sa loob ng opisina. I've been working my ass right after college graduation. Siguro, swerte lang talaga ako sa mga boss ko noon. Or maybe, kasi willing naman talaga akong matuto sa mga ins and outs of the business. Or maybe mas compassionate lang talaga sila compared sa kung ano at sino ang meron ako ngayon. I am not saying naman na sobrang terorista ng mga colleagues ko now, but siguro nasanay lang akong di pinapakialaman sa mga tasks ko sa opisina. I work with minimum supervision. I work with autonomy. Ayaw ko yung may nakabantay sa likod ko habang ginagawa ko ang tungkulin ko, Una kasi, nakakaconscious, Pangalawa, if you believe in my potential you should know that I get things done as fast and accurate as possible. ...

Gone There goes the circle of life, someone has gone home. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this. I don’t think I’ll ever learn how to take goodbyes smoothly. Told you, I’m so bad at being left. It scares and pains me big time. Anxiety Attack. I remembered, when in kindergarten, every time Mama sends me off to school, she’ll go with me up to my classroom. And every time I sat down, I didn’t want here to leave me. I am busy looking for her and every time I don’t see her, I go out of the classroom and yells out her name, if I found out, she already went home, I always end up crying my heart out. I was that kid. That kid who got the loudest cry. That kid with Mama staying at school. When I think about it now, it was a rather funny. It’s as if I am being left to a desert with no one to be with. And looking at me now, I think I have come a long, long way from that same kid. But I thought wrong. I have just grown up, years of experience taught me how to fight, how to survive, how to remai...

Leonidas. Siya ay isang Spartan King na sobrang bongga ang ability to duel. Yung fighting skills nya, ibang level. Nakakabilib kasi since bata, yun talaga yung pinaghuhusay nila, Military Skills. I got hooked during the holidays, napanood ko sa History Channel yung about sa mga Spartans. Di ko na sight yung Movie na 300, kasi nga ayoko yung sobrang bloody na movie. Parang nakakadepress lang kasi the more ko naiisip na ang mga tao ay foolish, nagpapatayan para sa wala. So yun nga, since wala naming work for three days, nascan ko sa tv yung about kay Leonidas at sa mga Spartans in general. The Spartan elders play a key role to the society, kasi di lang sila yung parang congress na nagsesession to make a law, sila din yung may say if ang isang new born baby boy ay “fit” sa kanilang society. Like if ever man na yung anak mo ay may disability, tinatapon nila sa parang basurahan and is left to die. Kasi yung baby, does not belong to his parents, or not fit to live para sa sarili but for the ...

You already. I was watching Kris TV last night, at fineature yung bahay ni Kim Chiu. Grabe. Sobrang ganda, malawak at bongga. Naman! Naisip ko 21 lang si Kim Chiu, yung iba buong retirement fee na for 25 to 45 years na nga, di talaga maafford yung ganun. Ang iba nga kahit isang bag dun na nakadisplay di pa rin umaabot equivalent to a retirement. Kaloka. Sometimes, nakakainggit lang. At a young age, may ganun na property na. Bakit nga ba di ko nalang pinursue yung pag aartista? Kahit ba bold, papatulan ko na (kung mangangarap lang naman). Pero di nga, sobra sobra kasi yung pera pag ganun, ang laki ng bahay, ang laki ng maintenance. Which brings me sa topic na napag usapan naming kagabi ng housemate ko. What I liked about the house is the high celing plus yung stairs na kahoy na small steps lang na di nakakapagod umakyat. Yung iba dun, gaano man kaganda, di ko na type. Financial-wise, ang hirap imaintain ng malaking bahay. Kuryente pa lang nun monthly, work hardest talaga kasi di biro yu...

Attached. My greatest challenge in this whole journey is to be complete as it is. To have a sense of security from within. To be self- sufficient. To be independent. Very strong words that involve a lot of SELF. Na realize kong In order to conquer this quest. I must develop a sense of confidence na kaya ko kahit ako lang mag isa. Ang nangyayari kasi, I get to be attached with someone na parang na depend na sa kanya yung happiness ko. Mali yun. Maling gameplan pag ganito yung lifestyle. When living and working abroad, dapat talaga yung SELF buo as it is. Yung secure sya na kahit anung mangyari, every single cell in the body is well. Every detail ng personality intact. Every minute part of the mind and heart andun. Di pwedeng nakasalalay sa iba. Di pwedeng maging maligaya kasi may kasama. Dapat kahit nag-iisa, Masaya. Narealize kong when you get so close with someone tapos always kayong magkasama, it builds a certain pact na di din madaling kalimutan, masasanay ka sa presence nya and mos...

As much as I miss home and going home seems to be a very tempting and fulfilling idea… I cannot. For some reasons, I find it very SOON. Very bitin. Besides, nafeel ko na I should grab this chance to know myself better. Ambilis ng panahon, I will soon be MIA at home for six months, that’s half a year, 182 and a half days. Parang sobrang radical at life changing ng mga nangyari sa life ko. To be honest, never kong naimagine na ganito pala kabigat yung decision na ginawa ko. Along with my career change is my change of address and everything followed, my lifestyle, my routine. Lahat. Even myself, I feel na na change ako. Kung dati parang passive lang, now I feel I am more expressive. I feel na mas naopen ako to reality. If there is something I wish for myself, yun yung ultimate confidence sana. Yung I can be more of myself, I can express my feelings, I get to be connected to other people and less insecurities. To care less about other people’s opinion and thoughts. Masyado lang sensitive t...

Naiinis ako. Di sa nega ha. Ganito kasi yun, ang mga tao may sinasabi, sineshare tungkol sa buhay nila. Kung ano man yun, kung ikaw ay isa sa mga lucky winners na makarinig na kwentong ito, makinig ka na lang. If di mo trip, sabihan mo ako, or ilayo mo sa topic at nang mafeel kong di ka nga interested. Madali akong kausap. Ang ayaw ko lang kasi, is yung nag sishare ang ale tapos, buhos na buhos na ang emosyon, deep and insightful na yung sinasabi tungkol sa self nya, (tumutol ka kung gusto mo pero) wag mo namang ipamukha sa kanya na magkaiba talaga kayo. Na mali sya at ikaw ay tama. Hala! ikaw nalang kaya ang mag share? at ako'y makikinig nalang. For example, If magsasabi sya na ganito yung na feel nya, let her be. Let her feel that way. If ikaw ang tagapakinig, wala kang karapatan na husgahan sya sa nafi feel nya. Better yet, shut up. Kung di mo trip at tutol na tutol ka, pwede mo namang sabihing “talaga?” “ahh” Di importanteng tumutol ka kasi after all, yung nafi feel nya, person...

Feel na feel ko na. Sana naman next year meron na. Di naman sa ayoko na, nakakatakot lang kasi. Hanggang kelan? Wala nato sa plano. Ako’y lost in wilderness. I don’t know kung ano ang dala ni Haring Bukas pero sana naman magandang balita na. Di sa desperado. Di din sa sabik na sabik. Pero naman, di din naman pwedeng wala talaga. Parang regalo lang yan e. Kahit di ka mag expect, alam mong meron talaga kahit singkong duling. Or di kaya libreng candy sa street habang ika’y naglalakad, di man made especially sayo yung candy at least meron kang natanggap. Wag nang choosy. Ganito ang dilemma pag yun nalang ang kulang. Di na ako nagtataka kung bakit masungit si Miss Tapia. Di na din ako nagtataka kung bakit busangot ang kanyang mukha. Nagbi bitter bitteran. Bakit nga naman hindi? Eh kahit papano may itsura si Miss Tapia. Yung iba nga meron, sya pa kaya. Minsan kasi nakakadepress isipin. Di naman sa zero ang mga kawal na umaaligid. Sadyang ang hirap lang talaga ng maintenance. Yung chuvah na k...

Flirt some. Sabi ni Bro. Bo, tayong mga kababaihang single, kelangan daw talagang lumandi kahit papano. Kasi naman, ang mga lalake parang dolphins lang e, kelangan ng signal. Sabi nya send out the right signal. Di naman kelangang maghubad (seduction yan) or may pa labas labas pa ng dila (sexual connotation nato) habang kausap sya or from afar pag nagkahulihan ng tingin. Sapat na ang smile. Sabi pa nga ng isang tweet, walang walang magandang babae sa malanding tanini. Tumpak! Kasi naman noh, pag magaganda nilalagay din ang sarili sa pedestal, parang sinasabing, “habulin mo ko, habulin mo ko” at di lang basta basta dapat ang humabol. Mali. Mali daw yun. Dapat be open. Walang diskriminasyon. Sabi nga, talk to atleast 15 boys in a week. Not necessarily na landiin ng bongga, talk. Just converse. Kasi daw, dun mo malalaman kung ano ang gusto mo sa isang guy. The more ka daw mai expose sa guys, the more mo daw malalaman kung sino ang patok sayo at sino ang hindi. Wow parang manok lang naman ...

Somebody asked me, Ano ba talaga gusto mo sa isang guy? Hmnnn… Naghuhumiyaw ang aking puso, nakahandang bumulong ang aking bibig “Ikaw”… Pero syempre naman teh, maloloka ang mga tala, syempre may paisip isip pa akong nalalaman, sabi ko, “Guy as a friend or boyfriend?” sabi nya, “syempre yung lifetime partner” at sa pangalawang pagkakataon, muntik kong masabi, “ikaw nga” Ang lola mo kelangan din naming maglitanya de ti, may pa pause pause pa kunwari, at nasabi ko nalang, syempre yung faithful. Di naman sa naloko na ako or whatever pero first things first, I would like someone who’s loyal to me. Di yung makakita lang ng ibang mas maganda or mas sexy, wala, kakaripas agad ng takbo at parang asong susunod dun sa babae. Che! I’ve seen men who are like that. Kahit kasama yung gf, Makita lang ako, nakaturn agad ng head. Taray. Di nga, I know naman di yan sukatan ng faithfulness diba? Pero naman! Pwede ba, guys wag masyadong pahalata. Pangalawa kong sinabi, dependable. Lifetime partner diba? D...

Gurl! Yan ang tawag ko sa kanya. Pa bagets lang, parang magkaedad lang. Minsan nakakainis ako pa yung mas matanda tingnan. How cruel can this life be? LOL So, planning to come here is a complete disapproval sa kanya. Kesyo, Why would I need this “being independent” for? That my life will be changed and I might get disappointed big time daw. She even told me she doesn’t like me when I am very disappointed kasi nawawala daw yung zest ko. She told me may maganda na akong trabaho and my future is bright kahit nasa Davao lang ako. Pero the usual me, Stubborn and ambitious, achievement- hungry, did not mind what she said. I told here, “it’s now or never” meron pa akong mga “to grow and make myself better na churvah”, my greatest argument was that I needed sometime to reflect on what I want in my life and having this chance, it’s really up for me to grab. Apparently, di lang naman ito yung arguments naming. Madami pa. If nasa bahay, para kaming tiglilimang armalite with amplifier instead of s...

Eh kasi naman… Bata. Young. Kid. Child. I think I just found myself a new inspiration. Pag nakikita ko sya nawawala ang pagod, ang mga problema,, ang bigat, ang sakit, ang sama ng loob, ang sama ng tiyan at iba pang mga nega sa buhay ko. Picture pa lang, iba yung positivity na nararadiate. Just a smile. Totoo pala yung kanta ni Barbie Almalbis. Smile pa lang nakakabuhay. Parang may bagong umaga naghihintay na puno ng pag-asa at kagandahan. Para siyang sunshine after the rain, di lang rainbow kasi konti lang naman ang nakakaaninag ng rainbow from a far. Sunshine kasi wide yung coverage. Parang morning dew na mamasa masa pa sa mga bulaklak on a very cool weather. Parang jazz in a dim-lit room while sipping some wine. Parang bonus na kusang nacredit sa ATM mo kahit sa pagkakaalam mo’y wala naming bonus sa panig mo. Parang Christmas song sa mga malls. Parang Iphone4s na napanalunan mo sa raffle. Parang mana na kusang ibinigay sayo ng amo mong elderly at ikaw ung nagninurse. Alam mo yung ga...

Christmas is already here. Four days? Wow. So fast. This Christmas is very memorable. This is my first Christmas away from home and with my heart left in Davao. Who would’ve thought that 2011 is this mixed and radical? I just had this all for the adventure, quite frankly, something that is quite temporary. You know, when the youth in you feels a lot more adventurous and almost rebellious. Not that I am deprived of freedom. It’s the nature of the early twenties I guess. I first thought about two months break after resigning from work… will have fun, try new things, enrol myself to new hobbies. Learn how to drive. And when I get tired, I’ll seek a job of my liking. Boom! After almost two months of this unknown adventure, I got myself a job and everything was life changing. I have to live self- sufficiently. I do things my way, I cook, I do the laundry, I clean, I think of my tomorrows, pre occupied with what to cook, when to do the laundry, stocks in the fridge, groceries. Seriously, I n...

Truthfully enough, I wanna go home. The idea of seeing home just comforts me. The convenience of having your family around defines me. I've talked with a friend earlier this morning, had a very pleasant conversation regarding homesickness. I asked her if the feeling is really like this, you know, you feel so alone, you feel bored, you feel less energized. Sigh. I told her, after staying abroad for almost four months now, I feel really battered. I feel incomplete. I feel empty. I feel less of myself. She then told me, what was the purpose of being there? Isn't it for personal growth? Isn't it self-discovery? I said yes to all. She then told me, "well yotch, let's put it this way, it's very tempting to go home, I know" Then I interrupted,"very much! But why do my other friends feel less homesick like I do? Why do they laugh the hardest as if they're pretty much contented here?" She said "Well then, it just means your family is who you are....

Don't talk to strangers. Well, that's what my parents told me when I was growing up. And for some mighty reasons, I still hold that advice. I don't trust someone enough unless I know him/her. The problem is, minsan kasi I get to be so doubtful about someone's personality. My friend once told me, "You're so choosy" SSabi ko, "how come?" She said, "you choose who you like"... Teka, teka, di ba ganun naman talaga? I told her, I just don't let someone enter my life. Oo na, mali yun, mali na mamili pero yun nga e, when I was younger sabi ng parents ko, trust no one but yourself, family and God and choose your friends. Di kami mayaman, di din kami sikat, but that's about it eh. We choose people who become part of us. Di naman sinasadya, minsan talaga lumalabas na parang choosy, but isn't it because, mas madali talagang makipagkaibigan kung atleast may common point kayo? Isn't it more comforting kung alam mo at may background k...

Hanggang saan, hanggang kelan? I've said this before and I'm saying it now... Hindi madali ang mag abroad. Homesick ang matinding kalaban. Ilang buwan pa lang ako dito pero ha, sobrang homesick na ung nararamdaman ko, andun na yung feeling na sinisilihan na sa puwet at uwing-uwi na. lalo na ngayon, magpapasko. Naalala ko noon, akala ko talaga sobrang sarap lang ng buhay pag nasa labas kasi may naiipon, may package na maipapadala etc. Paano naman kasi, mejo nasanay akong makakita ng mga kapitbahay na nag abroad, ayun, they're the ones na may malaking bahay, may iilang sasakyan, may naipon sa bangko, in short, naging may kaya. Maibiblame ba ako, eh yun yung narinig ko kay Aling Tasing? Kesyo eto si juana, nagpadala ng ganito, ganyan. Ang sarap isipin diba? Natatak sa batang utak ko na ganun. Mahirap pala. Mahirap ang mawalay sa pamilya. Mahirap ang magtrabaho na hindi masyadong naiintindihan ang chika ng mga co-workers, may language barrier. Mahirap magbudget ng isang buwang ...

Narealize ko... > Mahirap maging tambay > Mahirap makisama sa hindi pamilya > Mahirap magbudget sa pang araw-araw na pagkain > Mahirap ilabas ang saloobin ng ganyan ganyan lang > Mahirap maglaba ng panties > Mahirap umuwi na walang pagkain na nakahanda na sa mesa (paano pa kaya kung pag uwi galing sa trabaho) > Mahirap maghintay > Mahirap umasa > Mahirap umintindi sa bad mood ng iba > Mahirap kumain ng nag iisa > Mahirap mag isip ng isusuot sa bonggang interview > Mahirap mawalay sa pamilya ng ganito katagal o mas matagal pa > Mahirap makamiss sa mga taong akala mo noon ok lang kasi anjan palagi para sa yo > Mahirap maging busy pag nasa bahay lang > Mahirap matulog kung may iniisip > Mahirap maglakad sa tindi ng init para makaabot sa call time ng interview > Mahirap akong intindihin > Mahirap akong pakisamahan pag ayoko > Mahirap pag walang pera > Mahirap ienjoy ang magandang lugar kung walang camera > Mahirap bigyan ...

Syempre nagkaroon ng miss Universe, andaming naglabasang videos patungkol dun. May mga spoof, Parody di lang para kay Miss Shamcey Supsup kundi pati na rin na bagong koronang si Miss Leila Lopez. So eto na... nakita ko yung video, nainspire naman ako. Syempre sa youtube diba may nirerecommend na links na parang similar yung tema sa current na pinanonood? E di nakita ko din yung mga music videos, mga songs na ginawan ng covers, mga for entertainment na pagcopy a.k.a lipsync ng songs, ang saya! naenjoy ako sa panonood. Tapos biglang naubos na, wala na akong pinagkakaabalahan... so napaisip ako bigla, paano kaya kung...kung... Ako ang gumawa nung video? E bagong install yung software na free for 15 days sa laptop ko, ayun na... sabi ko May-I-make-a-video na nga! hinanap ko yung mga paborito kung kanta... OPM! mejo mahirap yung English, e di ako marunong tumugma nung stress ng words, kaya ayun... Ang pinagmamalaki kong bunga ng boredom dito sa Singapura... haha P.S. pasensya sa audio... pa...

Kaloka! I don't have an idea whether I get a plane ticket heading home or keep still and wait till next week. Ganito pala. Ganito ang feeling ng naghihintay at di alam kung ano talaga ang mangyayari sa susunod na kabanata. But this time, real time! May nabasa akong quote it said: "Patience is not just about waiting but keeping the good attitude while waiting" and... Tama! Seryoso, minsan pala ang paghihintay nakakabago ng ugali. Minsan kasi we're so caught up with the anticipated result that we seem to forget the present. Nagfofocus tayo sa mga mangyayari at di na natin naeenjoy ang kasalukuyan. May kakilala ako, ibang klase kung maghintay, kaloka! di nagsasalita te! Ni ha or ni ho, wala talaga. Ganyan siguro talaga, iba iba ang manner ng paghihintay. Naniniwala ako na this is all about mindset. Keeping the good vibe kahit mejo nagwoworry (kung di man maalis totally ang worries). Nung pumunta ako dito, I told myself, "Live for the moment" why? kasi I know na...

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. So true! My friend asked me a couple of days ago, so are you now satisfied with the idea that you embarked on an unknown path, mindless of the things that you've given up? Truth is, how can I answer that? The question might be wrong or is just too early, because to be able to answer that, I need much of an exposure. My adventure has just begun, I surely don't know how it ends but I know that I am proud about it all. I have been living a life sheltered and protected by the people who love me dearly. I am thankful. I am blessed that I have those people with me. There's never a day that I didn't thank God that I belonged to the family I am in. But this life is so short. I took this risk to fully live my life. It may sound a little arrogant but I needed time and space to discover myself. To grow and nurture my capacity on an individual basis. Others might find it absurd and just an act of pride but really, to me... it's i...

Geeez! And here I am thinking why my parents didn't send me to Chinese class. I'm an alien in a Chinese world. I do talking pretty much the hard way, I employ hand and body movements with matching facial expressions. But thank you parents for sending me to a good school, I feel a lot better in English here. No doubt about that. I knew my English is better than them but the way they say English words are slang to my ears. Imagine a word without an "R". One week here is like 2weeks in Davao. Here, very fast. I always forget time. I normally check the darkness and it's really hard to determine time through it. The sunset is late, 7pm is pretty much like 5pm in Davao. Imagine my horror upon knowing that I skipped breakfast and lunch then I ate dinner very late. Not good. Life here is fast. There's no room for slowing down and walking in the park. Everyone is in a hurry. Everyone goes on marathon even in MRT stations. I can only imagine how it's lik...

And I came, I saw... I hope to conquer! Vacation... this is how it is at this time. It's a break from the routine I have been doing for straight three years. It's like a breath of fresh air from getting all concentrated to one thing. I am so thankful that the immigration didn't ask stuffs they normally do and more. Much more to my surprise, I haven't been asked anything at all. She just checked my passport, looked at my oily face and boom! stamped as social visitor for 30 days. It's a sign! Anyway, being here is a liberation. Being here is climbing to a mountain and trying to reach a peak. Being here is journeying to a desert hoping to find an oasis in the middle. See, this is a quest full of hope. A quest for discovery. Who says humanity is all for outer space discovery? I am very much inspired to do things my way. I feel the need for survival without depending on others. Human instinct. What concerns me nowadays are calls. I know one of these days ...

and my heart breaks, my tears fall, no amount of sadness can ever compare to leaving... Three years ago I stepped in to that branch where I thought everything was small. The area, the pantry, the vault and yes even the people (hahaha! peace mam pinks and mam yo!). Coming fresh from school, everything was new to me. The procedure, the service, the daily routine, I thought, "so this is the real life my teachers were all talking about". It's never easy. I'm likened to an egg, the process to becoming a chick takes a lot of time. I am slowly coming out of my shell. I will miss a lot of things... I will miss my daily dealings with clients. I was able to learn a lot of things from them but most especially, thank you for teaching me... patience!:) and yes, English for foreigners, slang. I will miss friday lunch. I was able to learn self- indulgence. Ma'am Pinky's famous line: "Nagtrabaho ka para makakaon!" (I second that!) I will miss pantry moments. I was a...

The emptiness keeps lingering... the thought of you reminds me so much of the fun times we had together. Those may not be exactly how we wanted it to be but at least there were "those" moments that never fail to make me smile bitter sweetly. Truth is, I have tried so hard to forget you. I blocked all the access to let me reach you or tempts me to do so. It's just not right. I just feel so guilty that whenever I see you and hear from you this whatever-it-is has it's own mind that beats as if on a drum roll. I think that should never be the case. You left me paralyzed, and now that I'm regaining the consciousness you took away from me, you strike again. The nerve! I just can't allow myself to go on the same ground again. I will never allow myself to be feeling the same way again. When I was able to confirm it, I thought I had died in that instant. Imagine my shock, when I saw the glimpse of you. It just tore me quite figuratively. I am just so thankful I have ne...

seems that my thoughts are put into a song... here it goes.. Could you possibly be the one for me? Hopeful frog! :)

My song for you.. I think I just do... cause no matter how I tried, my mind still speaks of you. You know I'm not giving in... I try not to... this is not the right time. Just don't think I take you for granted, I wished I had all the time but so long as these veins long for adventure, you might come second best...

They will never understand my reason. This is way beyond the commerce of logic and practicality. I will never try explain myself to anyone regarding this decision. What matters most to me are the people who mean a lot to me. What matters to me is the approval of those I truly love and who truly love me back. I may be a hypocrite in telling that I don't get affected by remarks but I realized it's not important anymore. I'm taking the challenge because I am brave enough to do so. I am jumping off the edge, never knowing if there's a solid ground below so that I will know if there is such a thing below, curiosity pushes me. I should not be limited by words instead I should be firm in standing by my decision. This is the best time to learn how it feels like to prove yourself no matter what it takes. Until then...

the people stared at me, suspicious to the the fact that they're sitting beside someone sane while I remain passive and lost in trance of my thoughts... God help me! I cried out in despair. I have come this far. The idea that blossomed to something real and something that should be taken. It's coming over me... the reality that I am a nobody. The reality that I am in need. The reality that I am one of those who lives in the practical world. That I have no right to venture to dreams as if everything will be the same again if I lose. That everything is at stake. That somehow when I fail, I'll be caught up in extreme poverty. Back to Zero. Start from scratch. jobless. unemployed. one of the statistics. I mumbled my prayers. I thought to myself, "Lord, I surrender to your will, take control of me as I go towards the unknown." This is one of those times, I'm sure I'll remember when I grow gray. For I have given up the wheel and let God drive the vessel for me. ...

It's just so hard to let this heart control my whole being for now. It's just so hard to come into open and tell you this 'cause I'm leaving and I don't want you being left. It's just so hard to let you know 'cause you might be surprised how this liking has become more deep. It's just so hard to let you feel attached when I don't know if I can hold on as long as you want. It's just so hard to let you feel attached when I don't know if you can hold on as long as I want. It's just so hard to give you hanging for promises I cannot keep. It's just so hard to keep things in the low key when I decide to keep it up. You will never understand what I've been doing and I don't understand it myself. I wish to tell you how special you are to me. This is the first time someone has come this far.

Foolish... Believe it or not, I've had that idea in mind a couple of times and more. Why, this is way beyond unimaginable. Sometimes when I wake up, I always feel like it's just one of those weird dreams I'm fabricating to sleep. But hey, it isn't. This is real. This will happen. This is gonna be the next. I told my friends about this long long time ago. You know, the times when you had everyone in your high school group of friends, evaluating each one's achievement for the past four or five years after graduating... This is one of those things I intend to quite "passingly" mention. And still when I had this finally figured out and decided about, they were shocked. This is not one of those "pa mystery effect" my friends do often tag me, but this is something more private. I mean, I just cannot mention the details of this as it is very personal and quite confidential. Maybe the pride is bugging me again, but I can't afford to fail. I hope not....

So who says I've completely dished out the idea of Roller Coasters? Sometime, I became brave enough to prove myself. lol Perhaps, to be able to appreciate how grounded your toes are and how amazing it is to leave beyond the flow of gravity. There is a need for something to hype you up. Going beyond the ordinary touring routine. If truth be told, I want to try this again. J asked me to go on an extreme swing with her in Singapore but I know my abilities. I know my limits, and surely, I know my tummy. I've deleted the idea of embarrassment, vomiting and all. lol Anyhow, this is just a small scale coaster. I loved this and I hope we have this here. This is the spinner from Genting Highlands, Malaysia... Someday, I'll be able to push through my plans of riding into a heavy, hardcore coaster. Soon. :P

This might be the perfect time. Twenny fourtooters and all. I'm confused. I'm drained. I'm over thinking. Nothing guarantees anything. Much more, all we need is to take some risk. And the chance to make it happen. I'm singing this by heart...and yes, soul too!